What is a book?
Is it just a collection of letters,
Sorted into words,
Arranged into sentences,
Grouped into paragraphs,
Bundled into chapters,
Bound together by a central theme?
If that’s the case,
Then I’ve written a book.
A couple, actually.
But it doesn’t feel like it.
My books are digital only.
That’s the way to go these days,
Isn’t it?
Print is dead, right?
Then why do I feel as if
I have NOT written a book?
Maybe I’m just being foolish,
But I want more.
I want my book to occupy space
On my bookshelf
Next to the fireplace.
I want to be able to read the title and my name
On the spine of the book as it is
Nestled in the bookshelf,
Uncomfortably squeezed literally and literarily
Between classics like Ulysses and Moby Dick.
I want to physically hold the book
And curl up in a comfy chair with it.
I want to riffle through the pages,
Creating a breeze I can feel on my face.
I want the tactile experience of the printed word,
As I rub a page between my thumb and forefinger.
I want a book that can be ruined
Should a page be torn from it.
I want a book that has some staying power,
Whether on a shelf or in a storage box gathering dust,
While the owners forget what’s inside.
I no longer want my book to be only a digital file
That can be deleted with a click on a trash bin icon
Or lost forever at the next hard drive crash.
I want a sense of permanence for my book.
At least I want it to outlast me.
Perhaps this may be a flight of vanity.
I prefer to think of it more as a legacy
That proves I was here,
That I had thoughts,
And that I recorded them for posterity.
For those reasons and others,
I will publish a book in print this year.
I will riffle the pages
And breathe in the smell of the newly printed paper.
Then I will place my book on my bookshelf.

My goals in 2025 include healing and allowing myself to move forward. Here is my poem of hope.

Can you take an axe
A pick or a maul
And hollow a space in the stone the width and breadth of two
And I will use the hand plane and the lumber and I will use bolts and braces
To fashion a door for the hollow
Latch it
Strongly.
Once we are both inside,
And the world is fully outside
We will cry the racking sobs that have nowhere else to go
Held back fourteen years and some
Odd months or so
When we emerge
You will be iron and I will be alloy
And the sun will warm us
And can you
If you are able
Undo the lashings holding this pack
It is heavily filled and spills over
With sorrow and regret
Causing me to stoop
Can you if not such an imposition
If you have the strength
Help me drop it in the river
Then
We will build a table of oak and maple
And we will set it with all good things
And eat our fill of it
Til joy happiness mirth and innocence
Are the only things we can hear ringing in the forest

Wow…it’s already 2025…
Yet my brain still feels like 2020
Is shifting into a winter’s breeze
Welcoming us into a New Year’s kiss
And a hopeful embrace hidden in the folds
Of snowy blankets stretching out once again… I wonder

Will this year be kinder to us?

The onslaught of tears pool in my eyes
My throat tightens, and my hands grow cold
Yet they won’t fall.
…because you wouldn’t want that…
Locking myself in the past would do me no good.

I can hear you now…
“You’re a writer, aren’t you?”
…Telling me to write about it. (Is this what you meant?)

I remember you asking me
for a new story (I’ll get to it…I swear!) …
Just like you once asked me for longer hair…
To take better care of myself…
And to see what you saw in me…

You amazed me…
Your warm smile, generous heart
And brightening soul…accepting me without an ounce
of your blood running through my veins.

I’ll take your words to heart
And start believing in myself
Just like you did until
I see what you see within
The mirror you gave me.

And yeah…I might as well try to finish that novel.
It’s 2025 after all…new year, new me?
Hopefully, I’ll believe in myself enough
To submit it this time
Just for you, so I can grow…
To be at least a bit like you come 2026
That is my goal.

2025 is going to be My year, sadly my mom passed away December 22nd and We ARE ALL STUNNED, but my Mom taught us TO NEVER GIVE , she taught me that NOTHING IS TOO SMALL for me to accomplish it, I just have to go after it, so my goals this year to ENJOY LIFE, smile and CHERISH EVERY MOMENT, there’s good if we look for it( just like bad) I am NOT GOING TO COMPLAIN about the guy cutting me off or losing a football game online, my other goal is Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade, I have always been told I CAN’T DO SOMETHING, you should try smaller, well I don’t believe that, I believe I have to give my all and I at least TRIED, ( I would rather try and lose rather than to Never try at all) So this year I plan on being MORE POSITIVE and Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade is the ONLY PARADE, I want to be in this year. Stay positive and remember Luke 1:37 For with God nothing shall be impossible

Another year is knocking,
But I am not ready to answer.
Don’t they know rebirth doesn’t happen in winter?

I am still unbecoming.
I am still busy undoing.
My bones are still tired.
I don’t feel like pursuing.

I will leave the Christmas tree up.
I will continue to rest.
I had to learn this the hard way:
There’s no use trying to be best.

I do not plan to start anew.
I do not wish to have a goal.
I will not write out things to do,
Or make a vision board of it all.

I have done enough.
I saved more than money.
I saved my life a few times
And still haven’t tasted honey.

It is not me who needs to be sweeter.

I do not need to be better.
It is the years who need to be better to me.

Keep going, the theme of 25
We didn’t think we’d make it, past 25, let alone to 2025.

Keep going.

A Goal is nothing without a plan.
2024 was spent planning,
2023 was spent learning,
2025 is filled with goals

Goal 25,
Be around more people.
Goal 24,
Advocate for me more.
Goal 23,
Make more memories.
Goal 22,
Learn freedom without a car.
Goal 21,
Finish my book.
Goal 20,
Make amends.

Keep going.
Goal Post 25.

But remember,
Life is the journey, not the destination.
Allow the goalpost to change and give yourself grace in the face of it all.

Goal Post 25

I don’t have to be anyone but myself.
This year, I am reassessing my goals and balancing ambition with rest.
I will look into the mirror, meet my own eyes with grace, and declare, “I am enough.”
In 2025, I will walk boldly, my hands open to possibility, spreading seeds of love wherever I’m planted.
Friendships will bloom like wildflowers, beautiful and unexpected.
I will chase justice with steady feet.
Though I am among many, I will be a beacon, a lighthouse in a storm, lighting the way for others to feel seen, to feel safe.
I will live fearlessly, propelling forward with purpose, even when the ground shifts beneath me, even when I am unsure of my next step.
I will change my mindset, shifting from fear to freedom.
I will choose myself as an act of healing, a soft rebellion against the urge to shrink.
This year, I will be safe and comfortable in my own company, without judgment, without apology.
At the end of every day, I will ask only, “Do I approve of me?”
2025 will not be perfect, but it will be rooted, honest, abundant.
This year, I am becoming my favorite self—whole, fearless, healed—a life in bloom, rooted in acceptance.

Make reservations for a weeknight,
at the new restaurant in the next town over,
where they serve drinks in silly plastic bath tubs
with rubber ducks floating on curaçao-blue bath water
and the smoke from searing cuts of steak
perfumes the couples in corner booths:
L’eau de garlic.

Call in sick when the sun rises,
and I’ve not gone to bed,
kept awake through the witching hours by
the tale of a land where there are still dragons
and a knight who falls for the lady
with a skilled sword hand and
a sharp tongue.

Turn off my cell phone and
spend twenty unmoving minutes
in front a pond that Monet painted
until my eye lose focus
and the light tricks them into seeing
ripples move around the waterlilies.

Lay on the rocks that line the water’s edge
where the sound of the waves rises and falls
like breathing,
while the sun warms my back
as if I were a lounging lizard,
rather than a woman
with responsibilities.

Why does every new year
come with the pressure
to reinvent myself
through resolutions?

What if my only goal this year
is to be authentically me?
Or what if it is to laugh
until my sides hurt?
Or to stop and notice
the little things that bring joy?

What if I don’t become
someone else this year
and just enjoy the beauty
of all that I already am?
What if I don’t give in
to the pressure?

Adulting
Last year was here to support me,
This year is here to let me go.
Last year came with unimaginable pain,
This year approaches me with surprises and rewards.
Between I want to stay, but I know I better leave.
‘You’re a quarter, 25!’ they say, but forgotten by twenty-six.
‘As this year goes by its going to be exciting!’ but nothing is ever going to be the same.
Nobody said mourning the past was going to feel so weird, but
eager for what’s to come this year.
100% done on the original goal I’ve had for years.
Graduating in May,
Becoming an aunty by August,
Having the honor to say, ‘I got accepted to universities!’ and wondering which one I’ll choose.
Slowly maturing and leaving the nest.
Adulting before my very own eyes.
Perhaps a bottle of Wine & Moscato instead of Tequila this year.

In the dawn of a new year’s light,
I set my sights, my heart takes flight.
With resolutions bright and bold,
Three goals unfold, like stories told.

First, to shed the weight I bear,
To dance with ease, to breathe fresh air.
A journey paved with low-cal meals,
And every step, the joy reveals.

Next, a book where laughter flows,
A collection of columns, where humor grows.
Each word a spark, each line a cheer,
Sharing my wit, bringing joy near.

Last, a moment for prayer each day,
In quietude, I’ll find my way.
To nurture the soul, in peace I’ll dwell,
In gratitude, my heart will swell.

So here’s to goals, both big and small,
To rise with purpose, to heed the call.
With laughter, health, and faith in view,
This new year’s promise, I’ll see it through.

This year, I solemnly swear
I will be up to no good
I will not hold a strong resolve
Only in a week, to watch it dissolve
I will not aim to be better
That’s merely a dream that will shatter
I will not promise
To dole out advice that sounds oh-so-wise
I will not always be put-together
Pieces of me will break and scatter

And since resolutions are meant to be broken
I will break all of the above ‘nots’
That will crumble the graham cracker wall that stands tall
Holding layers of soft cream within
Wait, sorry for the interruption, but what is that low rumble I hear?
Hmm, maybe that’s a sign..

This year I resolve
That I shall most definitely solve
That problem of knots
That enigma of ‘nots’
To discard all that I am not
So I may recognize all that I am.

And to begin, I need to contemplate
On softened, creamy, layered, graham cracker crust

And with this noble goal in mind,
This year, I resolve
That I most definitely shall meditate
Over a whole lot of cheesecake.

In the year of 25
I want to live, I want to thrive
I want to do things I have never done
Live my life and have some fun
Swim in an ocean, climb a mountain that’s high
Jump from an airplane, make friends with the sky
Learn how to draw, get involved in the arts
A cooking class in France learning how to make tarts
Take a road trip with no plan of where
Play a few board games
Cut off my hair
Maybe fly an airplane in the big open sky
Watch a sad movie and try not to cry
Go to New York City where anything goes
Hide a dark secret that nobody knows
Continue being kind and continue having grace
Maybe go to the moon, maybe live in space
Perhaps write that book Ive always wanted to write
Maybe drive a train maybe fly a kite
Wish on a shooting star as it tumbles through the sky
Travel to the desert and watch the world go by
If my list seems impractical well, actually that’s true
Maybe paint a rainbow with just the color blue
All these things I thought of I created in my head
I think the rainbow would look better just painted all in red
So in the year of 25 I’m going to live and not just survive
I’m going to grow and I’m going to change
I may do things that are a little strange
But I’m going to be me and I’m going to smile
Because being yourself is always in style
Anything is possible when the year is new
The only thing in your way is ultimately you

‘Tis the Year of Dreams
Dreams that we thought we cannot reach
From far beyond
We shall flee to Hawaii
Where carefree is not a fee
‘Tis the year of Dreams
We shall conjure and Conquer
Architecture in a Degree
‘Tis the year of dreams
Where we shall as seekers and dreamers
Spread the dreams of thee
On reams
‘Tis the year of the Dreamers

I have seven goals for 2025. 

First, I aim to graduate soon and earn my creative writing degree. Second, I want to finish my book titled “The End Begins Now” and self-publish it. My third goal, which might seem a bit crazy but is also exciting, is to obtain my motorcycle (M1) license and get myself a Harley-Davidson, since I’m really passionate about motorcycles. 

For my fourth goal, I hope to move in with my partner. I envision our place being as spacious as possible, filled with sunlight, and having a balcony where I can plant my favorite flowers and enjoy nature’s beauty. 

My fifth goal for the year is to secure a well-paying job that provides enough stability for me to achieve everything I want and need. Sixth, I watoain healthy relationships with my partner and friends, as I’ve experienced the challenges of dishonesty and a lack of loyalty in past relationships, especially with friends I once considered like sisters.

Finally, my last goal is to maintain my peace and showcase the best version of myself—not just a version that others expect. I believe that in this world, it’s crucial to present your true, authentic self in order to succeed and make a name for yourself. I want to achieve this through my writing, helping others who are afraid to express their true selves. I aspire to be someone others can relate to, where they won’t feel judged. 

These are my goals for 2025, and I hope to succeed in achieving them.

Back in October of 2024, I attended a fundraiser for the safehouse that helped me through my time of great need in healing.
I was a nervous wreck, and had managed to talk myself into going after weeks of back and forth, pros and cons.
Would I fit in there?
Would I belong there?
Was I good enough to sit with the donors that had at one time changed my life for the better?
I didn’t know anyone at all. My mind raced with so many thoughts. Thanks to my daughter, I was able to go.
I had no idea, that walking through those doors, held a life changing surprise for my future.
I walked to the front and asked where my seat was. They couldn’t find my reservation and once again, I started to feel as if I was not where I belonged. They came back to the table and pointed to table 18. He handed me my information and I walked off to the table that would soon be the beginning of my dream come true. I’m not sure they want their names out there, but they are my heros. Angels in human form.
I will never forget the kindness shown to me that evening, as we sat through the horror stories and memories of a beautiful woman’s murder. She was a sister, a daughter, a mother. A wife. Taken away from this world far too early by the hands of a violent man.
The speaker was Denise Brown. Most of you may, or may not, remember her beautiful sister as Nicole Simpson- Brown. She was brutally murdered many years ago. This story, was very tragic.
I tried so hard to stay strong, to not let myself disassociate through the triggering words as they pierced my heart, and took my breath away.
They sat beside me, and just gently touched my shoulder asking if I was doing okay. I had to take a few breaks, I got up from the table and went into the bathroom to clean my face up just a bit. To breathe, and ground myself.
When the speaker was over, we all discussed a bit of my story.
At the end of the evening, I walked out with two numbers on my flyer and a possibility of a college scholarship. At first, I didn’t know if I would be hearing anything back, but the next day, I received a call from them. They decided to move forward with my scholarship!
I have never been so happy in my entire life, yet so scared at the same time. You see, second chances like this, an opportunity such as this, they don’t just happen every day.
In 2025, I have been given the gift of a college scholarship. I’m going back to school.
I’m going to start slow, and ease my way into things as I am very nervous. The paperwork was finalized this week. I’m picking out my classes on the 13th of January.
I’m not sure that I will ever be able to thank this beautiful couple for the gift that they have given to me, but I do know, that I am going to give it my everything, and keep pushing through. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING can stop me now. I am going back to school, and in the process, returning to the me that I have always known. I am smart, I am motivated, and I am going to crush this! Here’s to never giving up! Here’s to finding my way back to the me that I have always been capable of, but had been hidden. Next stop, Associates Degree. In 2025, I am celebrating second chances, and I am celebrating ME! COLLEGE HERE I COME!