Dear fear, you’ve been a great friend. You saved my life more than once. You’ve kept my feet on the ground when I wanted to fly. All my life I approached ledge after ledge and you kept me from going too far. I didn’t fall from the jungle gym because you advised me not to climb it in the first place. I didn’t follow the stranger with candy because you pointed out that I didn’t know where he was going. I didn’t drown in a big body of water because you took my breath away just looking in.
You’re the reason I lived past my childhood, but since I’ve grown up you’ve become a debilitating hindrance. I didn’t go to that party because you told me I’d stick out like a sore thumb. I didn’t pursue my interest because you told me I’d be an utter fail. I didn’t do a good deed because you said people would look at me weird. I didn’t follow my heart in love, because you said it would get ripped from my chest. I didn’t attach well to people because you said they’ll betray me anyway. I didn’t allow intimacy in relationships because you said it would hollow out my soul. I haven’ t done a lot of things that I really should have because of you. I’ve been learning more about you. About how you make yourself seem bigger than me, How you seek to control more of my life. Your voice shouts and clamors for more and more attention. You’ve convinced me many times to make ‘rational decisions’ that drain my soul of any joy. You have blinded me to my decision making abilities and strength.
Allow me to introduce you, my dear fear, to my God. My God is love, and his perfect love will cast you out. It’s time for you to pack up your half truths and go. You are no longer welcome here. Your voice is silenced when your lies are exposed. You are nothing more than a small monkey with enormous feet, hiding in the woods where creatures run in fear when they see your footprints, but laugh hysterically when they see your small stature and hear your simpering voice. You keep hidden, using only your footprints and long shadows to intimidate and terrify. Your raspy voice whispers lies to those cowering behind the boulders. They become yours to control until the truth exposes you for what you really are.
So now that you’ve gone from my life, I will do things I’ve always wanted to do. I know how to assess risk and make smart choices without being terrified. I will try new things and not be afraid of failure because trying again is the pathway to excellence. I will climb, because the view at the top is amazing. I will love deeply, knowing it’s better to be heartbroken than not to have loved at all. I will learn intimacy, knowing and being known is true connection. I will do good things and not wonder what people think of me. That’s not my business, anyway. I will not cower in safety while the worthwhile things in life pass me by. You will no longer keep me from experiencing abundant life, and the joys of living unfettered by the lies you tell. You whisper and woo, promising safety and comfort, but those soon become isolation and loneliness. Depression becomes constant for lack of purpose, you seem like a good thing, a good training tool for children, preventative harm, but you have become my box of shame and turmoil. I know the truth now, and it has set me free. Death is one of your favorite threats, but really, a life not lived freely, joyless and without wild abandon, with feet that cannot move, a heart that cannot love, a life that can’t be enjoyed, is to experience death without being dead. So as I go through my life with you banished from my presence, I will see your big footprints and know that you are on the run, for I have seen you in the light and laugh at your existence. You’ll have no power over me and I’ll no longer be yours to control. You’ll be on the run, hiding your shame in caves and I’ll tell others of your footprints and the tiny little liar that makes them.
With power and sound mind, no longer yours, Lisa
Style score from pro writing aid-100%