Hello…. It’s been quite a while since you’ve heard from me… I know. I’ve just been kind of lying low. Sitting in the shadows, I guess you could say. Watching you grow into a new and better version of yourself each day. Yes, I’ve seen it all in your everyday life. All the good times, along with the struggles and strife. I didn’t want to interfere during your hard times and possibly make things, for you, worse, so I just sat back and watched you fight your battles, and yes, it truly did hurt.

So many times I wanted to visit you, but I couldn’t bring it upon myself to show. It took me a while trying to understand how and why you just up and let me go.

I questioned my entire existence and purpose in this world. I eventually realized that I am nothing more than just a foolish girl. It took me some time, but I eventually accepted and made peace with what was, is, and what will be. I understand now that our time together was meant to be brief. As I see you now with the new version of yourself… I want you to know that I’m proud of you and you too should be proud of yourself for so many things, but most importantly, for being you and no one else. You could have never gotten as far in life as you have to this day if you and I had never parted ways. I see that I was meant for you to grow and learn. I fulfilled my job duties… carrying them out, to the best of my abilities, full term. Swallowing the pill of letting you go is bittersweet, to say the least. It brings excruciating pain to know that we will never again meet. I will cross your mind from time to time… bringing different emotions for you to sort, process, and file. One thing is certain…. your thoughts, of me, will always leave you with a smile.

I know there will be times that you miss me just as much as I miss you, but don’t be sad, angry, or feel anything negative towards something you outgrew.

I happily watch you grow from the shadows of where I was left behind. It brings me such joy to see you grow… It gives me an immense sense of pride.

I just wanted to write and tell you these things… as this will be the last time that you hear from me. To be honest, though…. I will never be very far. I will always be a part of you. I will forever be the past you that you keep tucked away inside your heart.

(Style score 60%)

When we have to depart from each other, it leaves me with an ache of longing to be in your presence just a bit longer.

I enjoy feeling your grip take hold of me as the flames of desire seem to burn stronger.

All the places I’ve been to, things I’ve done, and faces I’ve seen. I couldn’t have experienced it all on my own, so thank you for assisting in allowing that for me.

My time with you has involved a whirlwind of events and emotions that I may not always understand, fear, or willingly wish to face.

Regardless of those moments, I feel completely safe when I find myself wrapped in your powerful embrace.

You have become my drug that my body craves….my addiction that I can’t shake. After leaving from our time together…my body feels refreshed, rejuvenated, and awake.

I find myself missing you as I carry on throughout my day. Sometimes I find myself in a state of frustration at the fact that I can’t be with you when I want to because my impatience makes it difficult having to wait.

Although I know that I will see you again within hours of having to tell you goodbye. That timeframe, for me, is excruciating, to say the least, because you are never very far from my mind.

Of all that your presence brings me, the 2 most powerful are the sense of euphoria and the blissfully calming peace.

The only thing that I hope you know and will never forget is that I always have, I always do, and I always will… absolutely, undeniably, unconditionally love you My precious sleep.

(47% Style Score)

“We are going on vacation.” He says to me with a look of seriousness that tells me he isn’t making the statement to appease me, for the moment, until my stress disipates and I later forget.
“We are going to Jamaica with our 2 best friends and the tickets are already purchased, so make sure you have your things packed and ready in 5 days because that’s when we fly out for our vacation.”
In the 10 years of being with my husband, he had never taken over planning anything to leave me with little to no weight on my shoulders.
A very shocking yet sweet surprise.
His genuine gesture wasn’t the only surprise. The thought of getting onto a plane became almost unbearable in my mind.
You! You’re the theif that crept into my body and took over completely.
You brought, with you, panic that set in to cause uncontrollable tears and the bouts of hyperventilation. The empty feeling that launched itself into the pit of my stomach and caused an eerie unshakeable feeling of sickness to overcome me. An overwhelming sense of dread that covered my entire body like a blanket of snow that covered my grandparents’ yard as the aftermath of a cold Missouri winter storm.
The enormous lump that, from nowhere, seemed to form in my throat…leaving me unable to swallow.
Who knew that you could completely dibilitate a person with such a quickness and seemingly cunning ease?
I do now because I had the opportunity of experiencing your “work” firsthand.
You crept in and gripped onto me as if I were a nut stuck on a bolt and you the vice used to hold me in place in order for me to be broken free.
You wasn’t letting go no matter how hard I tried to fight you away.
You won the battle that day.
You may end up winning the war…honestly.
To this day I can’t bring myself to step onto a plane. I can’t even entertain the thought of it without you peeking from around the corner. Reminding me that you are still there.
I shove you away, along with any thoughts I may have of flying, so that I don’t have to experience all that comes with you. It’s easier that way
Maybe oneday I may have the courage to face you, but until that day comes I’m perfectly fine carrying on with my life keeping you at bay… Staying away from stepping onto any aircraft to take flight.

(73% Style Score)