Dear younger me , I understand now that it wasn’t personal. My father’s love felt performative, meaning if i did not get good grades I felt like he did not love me. I get it education is important, but him criticizing me did not help me one bit. It lowered my self confidence, but that is how he grew up, I suppose, and he did not have the men…read more

For the longest time, my garden was in a drought

Sometimes I thought I wasn’t meant to grow

Every time I had a drip of success, I would not follow up with more

Inconsistent, not believing I can achieve anything

Having limited beliefs kept me at a level only I could seeI guess eye level, some would say to me,

The sum (some) was the voices of d…read more

Lately I have been practicing meditation, Namaste

The new me wants to take over the stubborn old me is like no Ima stay

It is a constant battle of will, will I or won’t I change

The new way of thinking and doing things still has me afraid

But the old way of doing things would always be a destructive path

I wanted a way out, and I found it f…read more

I always felt misunderstood
Being the black sheep of the family or the escape goat
I knew the dynamic wasn’t healthy but i couldn’t verbalize it
I would just lash out because of it ,
whenever i felt overwhelmed i would lash out again
Cursing out someone ,hurting someones feelings because my feelings were hurt
Not knowing maybe they didn’t know…read more

Love it

Since the moment i saw you i fell in love
The age of 5 is where my mind goes watching All that at nick at night
At the age of 7-8 i would watch more channels and just couldn’t get my eyes off of the food channel
“bam ,bam” is the words i heard and the audience clapping right after it
Right before a commercial the show band will play…read more

Dear fear ,

I have been avoiding you most my life until i figured out what was happening.

You see , i was the first born so my mom overprotected me from everything.

Every time i would fall she was there to catch me both literally and figuratively.

My dad was not around much and when he was i did not listen to his advice due to him not having…read more

2024 has been such a blessing to me both creatively and personally. I have been performing poetry since January 2023 and its been such a fun ride. 2024 has been such a rewarding year due to the growth I’ve seen in myself. I am naturally a reversed and socially awkward person but this year I’ve learned to be more social. Networking with artist and…read more

I have always struggled with expressing my emotions
I would typically just bottle it up and explode on someone eventually
The path of self destruction was a path i knew all to well
As a adolescent the first lesson i was taught was men do not cry
So i would bottle up my feelings inside until the invisible ceiling would shatter the glass of bottled…read more

Thank you for allowing me to express myself
At the age of the trauma moments i did not know what to do
I would brush things to the side and store it in a closet
The closet was closed until i started to become more aware of self
Who am i ? where nobody else is looking
My true self the one who finally seeks professional help
I understood as a…read more