Weeks one and two didn’t count. I can do better.
I will do better.
I will be inspired by the love in my home.
I will start 2025 tomorrow.
I have two kittens. They are brothers.
They keep me up most nights.
In the morning, I will wake up grateful.
I will avoid the urge to ask the universe for 5 more minutes.
I will get up and get dressed. I will do school drop-offs. I will go to work. I will smile.
But before I begin the day’s tasks,
I will watch fondly as my sleepy kitties climb into my warm bed.
They will do a little kitty dance as they snuggle into a furry twisted pretzel.
They are so cute.
I will avoid the urge to get another.
I will read a book. A real book.
Not a cute one with rhymes and pictures.
One with pages that have “that” smell.
My bookshelves are lined with books like that, and I promised each one that I would be back.
I haven’t been back.
I will avoid the urge to collect more things that I cannot commit to.
I will make time to get lost in a story.
I will go on adventures with my mind and make up for the ones I have missed with my body.
My body.
I will love my body. No. I will fall madly in love with my body, with myself.
I will heal. I will heal my soul. I will heal my children.
My children.
Wild and tenacious. They are relentless.
Full of kindness, wonder, and good.
And goldfish crackers.
I take that back. They never get full. They always want more.
I will give them more.
More giggles, more games, more time, more love, more food.
I will pay more attention. I will watch them. I will observe.
Laughing, fighting, playing, and messing.
Chaos.
But I WILL NOT YELL. My mother yelled. I am not my mother.
I will help them clean up their messes, I will make their bed, I will tuck them in.
I will read them one of those cute books with rhymes and pictures.
Three if they ask.
I will join them for a snuggle until they are peacefully sleeping.
They are perfect.
I will avoid the urge to have another.
I will try to fill the next Thirty-One Million Two Hundred and Forty Thousand Seconds of our time with love.
With goodness and wholeness. With warmth.
I will appreciate the madness that is my life.
That I have created.
And if for a moment, under all the pressure, I lose sight of that,
I will avoid the urge to implode.