Thank you for taking the time to read Beauty. It is a spoken word poem and words of wisdom from an aging self-critic. Thank you for attention. Peace.
Beauty
I know what I look like.
This is the face that I see each morning.
Deep lines form parenthesis around my mouth.
There is a canyon formed between my eyebrows.
Crevices radiate out from each eye like carved rays of light.
I do not despair at my appearance.
I am at war.
These are battle scars.
Since leaving childhood.
A battle rages inside me.
A struggle for control of my outward appearance.
Set out into the world to face the daily insults of womanhood.
This war is born of disappointment, rage, and grief.
This angry leprechaun attempts to vanquish my psyche.
She is enraged at unkept promises,
Unrealistic expectations,
Self-imposed limitation.
Hands balled into fists,
She stomps through my consciousness.
A halo of flaming red hair encircles her twisted features.
She spends her days terrorizing the small creatures,
My inner child,
My self esteem,
My self-image.
At night she adds her banshee screams to the chorus of disapproval.
She screams insults,
“You’re always late!”
“You’ve never had an original thought in your life!”
“You’re a terrible mother.”
Until my better angels soothe her into submission.
They croon, “There, there my precious child….”
Momentarily quiet, she simmers in rage just waiting,
For the next perceived offence
Injuries real and imagined.
This is no easy feat
To vanquish years of insult, frustration, and anguish.
I wear the scars of battle,
Deep parenthesis around my mouth
signs that I have not allowed the leprechaun to voice my grievances.
Lines that radiate from eyes
carved by fake smiles as I placate unreasonable requests.
The canyon between my eyes
Etched by years of squinting at the unfathomable cruelty of my fellow man.
I wear these lines with pride.
A sign that my inner angels have prevailed.
As I enter my years of wisdom,
I admonish myself daily.
You are strong.
You are compassionate.
You are wise.
From deep within,
The leprechaun only murmurs.