Dissatisfied, looking unbothered
Smiles on the outside
With holding information.
Why waste my breath on explaining?
I’m learning to vent through
Poetry and music.
That’s the best way to
Get to know me,
I’m even getting to know myself.
As I sit back and think
Of my impatient past, with
Social anxiety. Had to basically
Learn how to live without the use of
Opiates, I was constantly sedated
For year’s. Knew I had to quit.
Then eventually went cold turkey,
I could probably say Marijuana
Helped me. I’ve attempted to quit
Multiple times go 3 to 5 days
Going through a sickness. Withdrawals
Are no joke when it comes to this.
So I used Marijuana to help
With my appetite and insomnia.
& alleviate my anxiety,
I’ve tried prescriptions
For it but I lost weight &
My appetite. So I let those go to.
To me it wasn’t worth it,
I have even come to a hatred
For pills in general.
Broke some bones after being
Clean. I’ve denied any pain meds
I couldn’t handle the thought of me
Out here hurting inside like that
Again. For years I’ve hidden it
But then eventually people see
And it’s not hidden.
Trying to hide the rattling sounds
Of a prescription,
Went and seen a shrink
Asking questions about how
I feel and think. I did this voluntarily,
In search for answers!
Then went off into
The abyss, as my biological body
Has adapted to certain things
Creating new proteins.
Another moment that turned
Out scary and exciting.
Development of knowledge
As I start to become it.
Now I’m reflecting it,
This is just my story, my
Experience, my testament.
They say we’re all the same
But what works for me
Could be different for other’s.
In my opinion from my
New found perception.
This is just part of my Development
We’re all out here with different views,
Different struggles, different battles.
In every culture in every religion
What it really comes down
To is the belief system.
Integrated with information
Like a genetic memory.
The DNA within,
Conflicting as it’s constantly changing.
Influenced with intuition,
Brings up another point about
Family & traditions, cultural & environmental
Experience. we’re all brought up different
They say only elephants hold
A genetic memory,
But, doesn’t everything have
A natural instinct?
Working on my crown
As I build my wisdom & connection.
I’m very thankful & feel
Extremely blessed to climb
Out of that addiction.