I used to be embarrassed
of my sensitivity, my feelings, my heart
I was made to feel ashamed,
like my softness was a weakness
But what I didn’t realize then
was that those who shamed me
felt threatened by my vulnerability
and my capacity to feel
because that was a weakness of their own
Either because they could not understand
what it was like to feel so deeply
Or because they did not know how to respond
to something so profound
Or because they were unable to sit
in the discomfort of vulnerability
Whatever the reason,
it was always their problem-
not mine

My vulnerability, my capacity to feel, my softness,
and my unapologetic need
to express what’s in my heart
This is my strength,
my superpower,
my bulletproof vest
protecting me from regret
ensuring I always stay on the path
that’s intended for me

Sometimes it feels like a curse
to feel everything so deeply
and to be so painfully aware of it all
but I’ve learned to love this about myself
It’s rare, it makes me me
It lets me live my life in full color
I experience every single day to its full capacity
my senses always heightened
my heart sinking and swelling
countless times each day
I feel the entire spectrum of emotion
with burning intensity
all in one day
and I wouldn’t have it any other way
Anything else would feel
boring, dull, muted, incomplete
At least this way,
I get to feel and experience
every single thing
that life has in store for me

My heart, my sensitivity, my capacity to feel,
these things were never a weakness
I’ve just spent a lifetime surrounded
by people who did not understand my soul
but now I understand me
and that’s all I need

To Little Emmers

In a world where dreams ignite,
Hold onto magic, shining bright.
Don’t let anyone dim your light,
Embrace your uniqueness, take flight.

Friendships may ebb and flow,
But true connections will grow.
In the pages of books, find solace and grace,
Let their wisdom guide your embrace.

Challenges and heartache may appear,
But remember, my dear, you’re never alone, my dear.
The worlds within those stories hold profound might,
They’ll teach you lessons beyond your sight.

Keep reading, keep learning, and let your mind expand,
For surprises await, just around the bend.
Like a magician, weave your spells,
Embrace the unknown, break free from your shell.

Though the future remains veiled,
Know that magic and wonder will never be curtailed.
You, dear Emmers, have the power to transform,
Your worth is immeasurable, like a precious charm.

So never lose that spark, that creative fire,
For it will guide you higher and higher.
People may disappoint, but don’t let them define,
For amidst the shadows, true friendships will shine.

Remember, Little Emmers, you’re not alone,
In this journey of life, you’ll find your own.
Trust in magic, let your imagination soar,
For in your heart, true wonders forever adore.

With love,
Your Future Self

Before the storms weathered what feels like such an old soul
The golden hues of my hair, before I tried to fit into someone else’s mold
Laughing and screaming while falling from trees
No tears spilled over skinned knees
Hushed yelling cursed names spewed
I quickly learned I mustn’t break any rules
Now quiet and reserved never missing a social cue
I once was so brave not even my family had a clue
The resilience I had at such a young age
Always putting on my happy face I smile and wave
She’s such a good girl isn’t that what they always would say
As I quickly grew up so ahead of my time
I made sure to never lose my shine
Adventure seeker turned people pleaser
She always remembered her name laughing off all of the pain
Authentically you, never afraid to steer off to catch a good view
Jumping into lakes to beat the heat
Making potions in the kitchen when I should’ve been asleep
Stirring the pot never over thinking a single thought
Sneaking midnight snacks popcorn in between laughs

Chronically misunderstood
As wild as the Florida wind
Emotions flooding through like a hurricane
Hushed through the pain
Left alone to cry out the shame
Return with a smile learning to constrain my wild
Find hope through art only for it to be torn apart
Strong enough to stand again
Each time I was shoved a mark was left
A feeling that has since remained in my chest
An ache in my heart
But my love stayed true
Once a fighter refusing to let them break you
Golden hues turned dark and untamed
Always regaining my light after every rain
Picking up the pieces taking others parts as my own
All the love I gave came back to me through the unknown
Following blindly the ones I admired
Down the darkest paths of desire
I learned my way from such a young age
I fought the course only to be brought back to it once more
All the hope left my body I left it with the sea
I’ll dive again and bring it all back to me
I see that young girl with golden hair teaching her that while life isn’t always fair to never shrink or lose her flair
So here I declare to repave the path I thought was my heir
I see the world through those young dark eyes
As the years have soared by they’ve lightened over time
When I fight I fight for you
I heal for you
Your resilience is now mine
My peace will be ours

Once so wild and carefree
Laughing singing falling from trees
As I heal for me I hurt for you
Breaking free from the chains finally living without all this pain

I stood tall and proud filled with dreams until I fell from the clouds
But as I age and have learned grace
I smile back reminiscing about your face
The courage in you stayed true until your light burned out
I don’t think we truly believed our doubts
As we find our way back to each other
Our light starts to burn brighter than ever
Our flame ignites once more the magic ignites together we soar
You were strong for me and now I fight for you

The anticipation of a conversation
a moment’s pause, a heart’s sensation
An expectation of words unsaid
A binding connection, a delicate thread

The fabric was woven, the story was told
a legacy kept, forever to hold
A journey of words, a longing to know became a tapestry rich, a narrative to grow

The art of conversation, a gentle guide
leading me through the labyrinth of time
To listen to memories, a heart’s treasure a mind’s archive, a soul’s measure

All that you were and the joy you spread became part of me, of who I am
Reflections of my younger days your voice, your presence, your beautiful face

Our memories, an album of distant times
keeps the joy of better days alive
Reluctant to embark on unknown paths
comfort comes from waves of our past

Your existence upon which I became
was a guide, a light, so much more than name
The courage you showed throughout your life
echoes deep within the depths of my mind

In that stillness, I found my voice
A sense of clarity, a heartfelt choice
The silence beckoned, I found my way
to a place of peace, where love will stay

You were always on my side
You were my joy; I was your pride
In this cruel world, just us vs. them,
But all good things come to an end
Now I’m left here all alone
With that final goodbye,
My life shattered in the blink of an eye
Lost like an orphaned fawn,
How can I ever carry on
Without the only friend I’ve ever known?

Let the wires cross
Let the signal be lost
My thoughts erratic,
Lost in the radio static
Now that you’re not there
Make no mistake
There’s no return from this break
No time to dwell on loss,
Here’s my heart signing off,
Fading into dead air

So I’ll reset that emotional dial
And face it all with a smile,
Let this world strike me down
I’ll never show them a frown
As I try to live by your advice
With the tools you gave in hand,
Here and now I make my stand
Forgive me for not growing strong
Enough in time to right your wrongs
But it will not happen twice!

Let them know our pain
Let the chaos rain
From the heavens above
As they say, in war and love
Everything is fair
If I must cross this line
I’ll stand up for what’s mine
Now there’s no turning back
As the scene cuts to black,
Fading into dead air

Are we filled with mourning, filled with grief
When branches release their last brown leaf
Are we filled with anguish, filled with woe
When the sun melts the last cindered snow

Seasons are a blended transition
“One day”s coming into fruition
And so is this life into the next
Letting go, while clutching to our chest
Like a dainty rose held too tightly
Watching the soft petals fall lightly
What we know, clouded by what we feel
So why does this goodbye seem so real

Are we filled with mourning, filled with grief
When the branches bud their first green leaf
Are we filled with anguish, filled with woe
When the sun brings songs of the sparrow

This is not the end, but your rebirth
Disappearing seed into the earth
Promised beauty after the stillness
Remaining joy despite the illness
We pull you close as we let you go
Goodnight kiss and, “See you tomorrow”
What we know, clouded by what we feel
So why do goodbyes feel so real