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  • Too Much

    Dear Me,

    I see you—sitting in the quiet aftermath of a life you didn’t plan, heart cracked wide open, memories flooding the spaces where your dreams used to be. You were never not enough. You were so much—so full of love, hope, tenderness, and vision that the world didn’t always know what to do with you.

    After your first divorce, you felt like you’d let everyone down—your family, your friends, your child, yourself. The story you’d written in your head was filled with pancakes on Sunday, slow dancing in the kitchen, candlelit baths, and spontaneous adventures. But the pages turned too fast, the ink blurred, and the best friend you married and thoughts of forever slowly disappeared into the shadows of disappointment. You left that chapter unfinished and blamed yourself for walking away too soon. Maybe you did. Or maybe you were just brave enough to acknowledge that love, no matter how deep, can’t survive on wishes and memories.

    And then came the second chance—a love that dazzled you with its devotion. He adored you. He made you feel chosen. Another son, another beginning, and you told yourself this time it would work. But slowly, the walls closed in. You couldn’t breathe. You weren’t craving someone else—you were craving yourself. Your freedom. Your thoughts. Your wild spirit that always longed to gallop, like a wild horse, through the open fields of possibility. You weren’t selfish. You were seeking air, peace, and truth.

    It wasn’t that you thought you weren’t enough.

    It was that somewhere along the way, you feared you were too much—too dreamy, too idealistic, too hungry for a love that felt like home and adventure at once. You wanted what your parents gave you: consistency with laughter, boundaries with warmth. You wanted romance with room to exhale. A soft place to land that didn’t also become a cage.

    Was it too much to want all of that? Maybe. But that doesn’t make you too much.

    You wanted the fairytale, not for the glitter, but for the grounding. You wanted your children to grow up in the kind of home you were lucky to have. Yet, you wanted the white picket fence, the golden retriever, and images from your brain that don’t always equate to love and happiness.

    And when things fell apart—twice—you didn’t mourn the loss of a man as much as you mourned the certainty you wanted to give your sons. You blamed yourself. You gained weight. You buried your regrets. You stopped saying some things out loud because others didn’t understand and they hurt too much to name.

    But here you are.

    Still standing.

    Still giving.

    Still loving.

    Still becoming.

    You didn’t fail your children. You showed them resilience. You showed them the cost of truth, the courage of reinvention, and the power of choosing peace. You never stopped being their mother. In fact, you became an even braver one.

    And you?

    You are enough.

    You were always enough.

    And you’re not too much—you’re just enough to fill the life that was meant to be yours.

    Keep going. You are not broken. You are becoming.

    With all the love you never stopped deserving,

    Me

    Voting starts August 21, 2025 12:00am

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  • To "SLO" with Love

    Dear San Luis Obispo,

    I wasn’t ready for you at first. I arrived with a car full of awkwardly folded clothes, an electronic typewriter, and dreams bigger than my dorm room closet—which, let’s be honest, wasn’t hard to beat.

    My freshman year started with a crash course in conflict resolution (and creative earplug use), courtesy of a roommate whose boyfriend thought her twin XL bed was plenty big for the both of them. It wasn’t.

    I learned to be assertive, to take long walks at odd hours, and that personal space was not a luxury—it was a necessity.

    Moving into the sorority house felt like trading one set of quirks for another—but this time, I found something that stuck. I liked the sisterhood, sure—but I loved the focus on service. Organizing fundraisers, raising money for charities, feeling like my energy was making a real difference—that’s where I started to see who I was becoming.

    When I first arrived at Cal Poly, I thought I had it all figured out. Pre-med, determined, driven. I imagined myself acing organic chemistry, gliding through labs, and someday saving lives. What I didn’t imagine was nearly flunking chemistry and sitting across from an advisor who casually told me I’d be better off getting a “Mrs.” than a Master’s. Let’s just say—thank you, sir—for lighting a fire under me hotter than a summer day in Arizona.

    That moment, frustrating as it was, became a turning point. I ditched Biology for Physiology and dove headfirst into wellness, into the preventative side of health—the place where movement and mental wellbeing mattered just as much as prescriptions. It felt like coming home. I didn’t want to treat sickness—I wanted to help people stay well.

    I showed up to class in my pajamas more times than I care to admit, powered by Diet Pepsi, ambition, and whatever leftover pizza from the night before. I taught aerobics to make some extra cash and danced my stress away with the college dance company, Orchesis, a haven of people who understood that movement was therapy. We rehearsed, performed, and celebrated the kind of connection that can only come when you trust someone to catch you mid-leap—on stage and in life.

    Eventually, I was fortunate to move near the beach, and shared it with a couple good friends, and it felt like magic. A room of my own, a view of the waves from the observation deck on the roof, and the sweet, salty realization that I could stand on my own two feet. I surfed badly but joyfully. I kayaked in Morro Bay, where seals stared like judgmental old men and the dolphins occasionally graced me with their approval. I hiked through miniature oak forests that felt like they were plucked from a storybook—twisting, ancient, wise.

    In SLO, I learned the power of stillness. I learned to just be. To soak up the birdsong, the breeze, the sky. “SLO down,” I’d whisper to myself when the world felt too fast. It became a mantra then, and it still is. I learned to slow down, breathe deeply, and find my footing even when the ground beneath me felt shaky (or full of sand, seaweed, and the occasional beach tar stuck to my flip-flops).

    I navigated new friendships and learned to let go of those that no longer fit. I figured out how to love from afar and how to love myself up close. I worked in the health center, threw myself into projects, and believed in the Cal Poly motto—“Learn by doing”—not just in school, but in life. You taught me that falling apart doesn’t mean failing. Sometimes, it means figuring it out differently.

    And you, San Luis Obispo, were the backdrop to it all. You were the golden hills at dusk, the slow drip of time on a Sunday, the laughter of friends over yogurt and pizza. You were the surprise of dolphins in the surf, the crunch of boots on a mountain trail, the soft hush of wind through the oaks.

    Even now, when I drive over the Cuesta Grade, it all comes rushing back—the warmth in my chest, the quiet knowing in my heart. You remind me I was once brave enough to start over, to shift direction, to say no to what didn’t serve me and yes to what did.

    You were never just a college town. You were my my sanctuary, my compass, my solid ground.

    Thank you, SLO, for being the place where I figured out how to be alone without being lonely. For letting me dance, dream, and hike my way into adulthood. You’ll always be one of my greatest loves—not just for your beauty, but for how you helped me fall in love with me.

    With love, always,

    Cheri Eplin

    Voting starts July 26, 2025 12:00am

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