I’m sorry I couldn’t do it anymore. I danced the dance, jumped as high as I could, and played the part. In the end, I could tell that nothing I did was good enough for any of you, and your looming eyes constantly judged me. I could feel the walls closing in with invisible pressure. For a while, I thought that the pressure and constant suffocation were just parts of life. You’ll never guess, it’s not. I escaped it — the clamor, the fake smiles, and the disdain. No one cared for me, no one treated me as an individual; I was a cog in a wheel. I was just another person to be sucked into the machine.

Now I’ve found my tribe, I found those who would let me be who I was meant to be. I moved hundreds of miles away, and it was just far enough to feel things that every human is made to feel. I finally feel hope. Nature, humanity, and a compassion that everyone deserves to feel, these things lift my spirit. This is the place, this is the Grand Canyon.

Yes, I live and work at the Grand Canyon. I stare at a hole in the ground for eight hours a day with a simple job and great benefits. I have a tiny community, but its more than you could ever be. I have real responsibility to this community, and it treats me well. When I was ill, it gave me strength, and when I was afraid, it gave me safety. Yes, the tourists are a bit dumb, but they are funny, and if you give them ice cream, they are nice.

Genuineness was not your forte. However, here it abounds. I never felt so much freedom from people in their own cliques and prejudices. I love it here, but to be honest, I wouldn’t have been as grateful if it weren’t for you. Yes, here it is isolating, and there is little to no excitement or class, but the people here care for each other. When I’m on the edge of the cliff, about to fall into the canyon, people here pull me away and pick me up instead of waiting for me to do it. People see each other’s struggles, and most care. I care.

I am part of a larger whole. A paint stroke in a masterpiece. I am so grateful it was to something that is so beautiful, and frankly I am glad it’s not you. Though my isolation may lose me to the world, I found myself. I found my people. I found my home.