Anxiety is an endless invisible string you carry on your shoulders
Anxiety is often misunderstood and not a simple to-be-fixed mistake
Anxiety is a daily struggle that never stops
Anxiety takes over the mind with overthinking, worries, and constant self-shame
Anxiety can’t a hundred percent be fixed with medication
Anxiety can make you look calm, but you feel like you’re dying inside
Anxiety can cause mental and physical struggles unknowingly
Anxiety can easily cause panic attacks like your lungs collapsing
Anxiety makes you worry over the simple little things frequently
Anxiety can make you practice conversations in your head before you speak
Anxiety makes it uneasy to relax and destress and takes guidance
Anxiety involves every stress of life that makes it worse
Anxiety isn’t just “you’re overreacting” or “just relax.”
Anxiety can cause misunderstandings and misinterpretations
Anxiety can lead to some having a lack of empathy when it’s unbearable to grasp
Anxiety can make you isolate from social situations and want to be alone
Anxiety isn’t for the weak but shows how strong you really are
Anxiety is a big deal of a disorder and is treatable but still tough
Anxiety is a horrible mental struggle that not many understand
Anxiety takes depth to truly comprehend and help those when needed
People who don’t understand anxiety need to understand two things
It is a struggle and know what to do to help and deal with someone who does

After years, the day is finally here
At 22, I had started my long voyage
Not knowing what to expect, I was in fear
The road seemed endless, with long days and nights ahead
But with support behind me, they cheered for me

After years, the day is finally here
At 23, I was passing my way through classes
Being advanced, I would complete it sooner than later, dear
Between constant death, moving, heartbreak, and more
I didn’t know how to handle life’s hardships while full-time

After years, the day is finally here
At 24, things were tough, but I carried on
Letting God and Jesus guide my way, my path became clear
I worked so hard but was doing excellent
Through the tears, I toughed my way through without giving up

After years, the day is finally here
At 25, my heart and brain were extremely exhausted
My dedication and sweetness to everyone was endear
Onward and upward, a lot of growing and healing was made
Step by step, I got closer and was filled with promise and hope

After years, the day is finally here
At 26, I felt new as a new path began to unfold
While I spread my wings as my new chapter was all clear
I had support behind my back from family, friends, and my lover
On December 14th, I was filled with joy, hearing cheers, laughter, and glory

There aren’t enough words to express or describe the amount of gratitude I give to myself. The amount of hardships and battles I had to face on my own and deal with consumed me as if someone was suffocating me to death. As a start, I mostly thank myself for slowly crawling my way through like a turtle to the finish line of finishing and completing my college degree. Being financially broke, struggling with money, having no job, and living with a parent while being a full-time online student. However, having so much support around me was the glue I needed to have the strength to see it through. I thank myself for continuously confronting death with those so close to me but silently dealing with the fact of thinking, who else will I lose someday? The way it suddenly hits me hard at certain moments is like an ocean wave crashing to shore as a result of a hurricane. My grandfather, my Godmother, my Great Aunt, my cousin; all people who I’ve recently lost and have devastated me. I thank myself for coming to terms with the mistakes I’ve made which make me stronger. No one on this Earth is perfect, but like a phoenix, I continuously rise from the ashes. I thank myself for not bottling up my heart and giving love a second chance when I was afraid. Knowing I made mistakes, but the man I love did too, and bad things occurred. In the end, if you still are deeply in love with that person, what’s stopping you? A love that feels so true and so rare is hard to find, like a diamond in a mine, and I will do anything to protect the love I have for my special someone. I thank myself for gaining more confidence in myself no matter how I look. To glance at my reflection at my most vulnerable each day in the mirror and say ‘I am beautiful’ with a smile on my face. Finally, I thank myself for not giving up and persistently working hard by pushing myself to do better. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel, and I try to keep it in my mind to see it through to the end. As a whole, a quote from Harry Potter, spoken by Albus Dumbledore, is something I’ll always live by as long as I try, “Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” Thank you me, thank you for everything this year you’ve shown me.

Oh, little me, I know that in 2006, we were just merely 8 years old,
so young, innocent, beautiful, growing, and full of life.
Life was wonderful and carefree and we felt happy to be a kid.
But suddenly, in a flash, like a huge earthquake shaking and destroying planet Earth,
we lost our grandmother on Daddy’s side, Grammy.
Little me, I know what we were taught and learned of death from Mommy and Daddy,
yet there were certain things we couldn’t fully comprehend.
No one truly explained why Grammy was gone, just that we wouldn’t understand
or that you’ll find out someday when you’re old enough.
The only thing we knew was that she had passed and wasn’t ever coming back.
Little me I know we didn’t fully comprehend what was going on anymore
or how our entire world would start falling apart from that day on.
At her service, we saw Grandpa cry, and we stood right beside him as hearts were breaking,
and we were comforting him, offering a hand and a shoulder to lean and cry on.
When we had to say our final goodbye, we didn’t cry; we constantly prayed instead.
Little me I know from that day on that death followed closely throughout the years,
and sometimes it felt like a curse, Grandpa even passing a year later in 2007.
While death felt like a cruse, sometimes we couldn’t even cry at all;
all the same, it was heart-wrenching, and the pain washed over us at times like a tidal wave.
I know we were born Catholic, but sometimes even cursed God, asking why.
But little me, as we grew up, we gained knowledge to understand the complexity of death.
Sometimes, some things occur for a reason beyond our command, for why we don’t know;
however, there are times when we can control certain aspects of our lives.
We know that death is a natural part of life, and it happens to us all,
at times, it happens sooner than later and can be quite unfair.
Little me, I wish you could hear me now when I tell you these things
because the pain of the grief that you tend to feel will always come and go,
but we have to learn to accept these sorts of things, as it’s a part of life.
The best thing we can do is to enjoy every day like it is our last.
Life is a beautiful thing, and death is, too, because those we know who die are at peace.
Little me, while I know we faced death at such a young age,
and since then, I’ve perserved it well, but even now, it still bothers me.
I know altogether that the concept of death is scary because of losing Grammy,
but as the years pass and we get older, it’ll happen, and we’ll have to face it.
You have to know to just embrace and cherish the moments you make in life.
Oh, little me, while the concept of facing death to those we love is beyond difficult,
and it may feel like your world is falling apart with having crying fits late at night,
it won’t get any easier, as with grief and death, it never is.
While I know too that we faced a task that no person wants a child to face so young,
please understand we’ll see them again one day when we go to heaven.
And little me, while death is never easy to face, no matter the age or time,
face it head-on: love and live life the best you can by making memories to last forever.

You’re perfect, my kind of perfect
Especially when we peck lips for a kiss
Feeling the intimacy with your gentle touch
It makes me feel so complete, whole, and alive
Just as if nothing was wrong and all my worries disappeared
You can hypnotize me with your gorgeous eyes
Or with the words you speak from your mouth
Either way, you make me forget of life’s hardships
And create a bubble like it’s only you and me
Within the current moment of Father Time
You can be a cute geek without the perfect tone body
Hate the way you laugh loud or have too much body hair
Either way, I’ll still love you just the same
Because the way you look, mmm, I can’t get enough
You can charm me with a big, adorable smile on your face
Become such a gentleman and a total romantic
Or even say I look beautiful when I think I’m a mess
Either way, I’ll fall for it everyday, every time, and anywhere
Because your smile and personality is out of this world
You can make mistakes and mess up like everyone else
Or accidentally say the wrong thing to hurt some feelings
Either way darling, no one is perfect on this earth
But no matter what, somehow and someway
You are my kind of perfect and always have been
Since the very first day that we met and fell in love
There’s so many ways to describe and say
Of just how perfect you are in my hazel eyes
I hope you can see it and believe it to be true
Because there’s simply no one else that can replace you
You are a one of a kind, my love, a one of a kind