Heart skipping beats on narrow attic stairs,
           making hasty a getaway over thin air.
Chased by hazy visions from dreamy hells
            and the devils, too close at my heel.

Running down sharp walled halls
               too afraid to stop or fall.
Terrified of the sounds, lost hidden howls,
             all the fear my imagination’s found.

Fearing missteps with clumsy, unpopular opinions,
             always dreaming of lofty, aimless ambitions.
Climbing past the highest clouds, too afraid to leap,
       then falling over lazy hills, too anxious to sleep.

Agonizing and pointless routines when life in the light
and old obscurities mingle, and nothing feels right.
Reading and rereading, searching for a newer spark,
to illuminate glimmers lost in the endless dark.
 
Slowly wandering through and throughout  
            the deep twilights, me and my doubt.
Shutting off lights, walking without the fright,
           strolling with stars guiding in the night.

Seeing with clarity the emptiness
            hidden in shaded oblivions.
Dreading only the darkness
           that still lingers in me.

Half a lifetime ago,
I buried a future
in these woods.
 
Vowing then 
never to return.  

Refusing to revisit
a painfully lost vision
left broken in a history
full of revision and derision.  
 
But, tonight 
I returned.

To seek forgiveness,
from the lost life 
I buried alive.

Drawing a deep breath,
I stepped into the past.

Following old instincts
down lost winding trails
in the late evening heat.

As songbirds flew quiet overhead,
and dry leaves cried under my feet.
 
Rushing, familiar winds
      howled in both ears,
feeding old, tired fears.
 
Everything has changed, but still 
everything is the same.

I walked through mangled 
forgotten trees,
that ceased being haunted
but were clearly diseased.

Her screams cut through my anxieties.

She remembers me.

I ran, frantic, 
without thought.
I still knew the spot. 
 
Dropping to my knees 
as dark clouds stole
the last light.
 
I dug.
I clawed.

I fought to find
the part of my mind
I was working to refine,
but buried alive  
before its time. 

Is this it?
Is my future over?
Is this the end? 

A deep coldness
crept over my skin,
as I began to give in.
 
It was then.
She took my hand. 
A fiery grip from within.

Light rushed into my heart.
And courage flashed in my eyes. 

For the first time in so many times,
I stood with a rush of adrenaline.

Finally, 
ready to live again.