I was excited to be pregnant but scared to fight cancer

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To: To my four-month-old son, Ethan

From: Jordana Beck

Charity: Susan G. Komen NYC

Sponsor: Erin Henderson is donating $50 to Susan G. Komen in honor of the first 50 shares of this letter

To my 4-month-old son, Ethan,

I am sure you have seen that sign in your nursery or maybe you noticed the necklace I often wear. You can’t read yet, but both say, “Warrior.” That’s the nickname you earned on your way here…

pregnant woman
Jordana was 11 weeks pregnant when she was diagnosed with Breast cancer.

Last September your father and I were over the moon when we found out I was pregnant with you.  We couldn’t wait to expand our family and give your big sister, Emmy, a sibling.

Just a few short weeks later, I was in the shower and I felt a bump. When I showed the doctor, she said it was probably nothing. However, after expediting the necessary tests, she called me and told me I had Breast cancer.

I was just 11 weeks pregnant and I didn’t know what stage cancer I had, if it spread or the size of the two tumors.

While a million thoughts ran through my head, my very first thought was you. I had no idea if I could get treated and keep you. The following week, I met with several specialists. It took a few days, but finally my doctor told me they could keep you safe.  When I found out I was so relieved that I fell into your father’s arm and broke down into tears.

That’s when our fight together officially started. We went through surgery and chemotherapy. Every step of the way I was concerned for your well being. I had a fetal heartbeat test before and after every chemo session. I would do stress tests. You just kept fighting along beside me.

Jordana says her husband Jonathan supported her every step of the way.

We found out I had the BRCA gene, which is a gene that increases the chance of Breast cancer among other cancers. Even through that news on top of all the procedures and drugs, you motivated me to stay positive. I didn’t feel like I had any other choice except positivity, because I knew that if I felt stressed then you would be stressed. You pushed me each and every day, helping me put one foot in front of the other.

It wasn’t easy.

I was fighting cancer. I was pregnant. I was holding a full-time job, while also being a mom to your two-year-old sister. I didn’t take one step back but I also wasn’t alone.

Thankfully we have an amazing and supportive family, especially your dad.  He came with us to doctor’s appointments. When I would wake up in the middle of the night crying, he was right there to comfort me and keep me upbeat. Your dad went through cancer with us, bringing love and light to a dark situation.

Together, as a family, we made it to nine months.

It all hit me the first time I held you right after you were born. I cried hysterically. It was the most beautiful moment to see you and to know that I brought you into this world healthy. I was so happy.

I was fighting cancer. I was pregnant. I was holding a full-time job, while also being a mom to your two-year-old sister. I didn’t take one step back but I also wasn’t alone.
Jordana calls her son a little warrior

Ethan, you are the most amazing miracle.

Your four months old now and I am in remission. I beat cancer with grace and a good attitude. For that, I am so proud of myself but I am also so proud of you.

There is a mantra I have lived by this past year which is “You never know how strong you are until strong is the only choice you have.”

While cancer revealed my strength, it also showed me yours.

Most children don’t go through what you went through. And I don’t want you to ignore that.

Jordana and Jonathan now have a family of four

Instead, as you grow, embody the strength that both you and I exhibited throughout this last year. Go through life standing a little taller and a little prouder, knowing what you had to withstand. Whatever dreams you develop and whatever goals you set, always keep pushing, recognizing that you can accomplish whatever you want in life.That is because before you even took your first breath, you endured your first fight. Before you stepped foot in the world, you already proved you have the spirit to conquer it.

Ethan, getting you here may have been a battle for us all but I want you to make your life our winning celebration.

I love you always my little warrior,

Mommy

 

Written with Lauren Brill

About the author:

Jordana Beck was 11 weeks pregnant with her second child when she was diagnosed with Breast cancer.

Repost, React and Give Back…

Erin Henderson is donating $50 to  Susan G. Komen NYC, a non-profit that is searching for new cures to fight Breast cancer and supporting families impacted by the disease. Jordana says Susan G. Komen NYC was very supportive throughout her battle.

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[…] enough, in the email was your letter to your late father, former NBA basketball star Anthony Mason, talking about your struggles after his death. You wrote […]

Sweet Lauren, I agree completely with the promise that Brian asked you to make. Frankly, it is the only way that I know to love; totally, completely, wholly and unconditionally. You deserve nothing less, nor does your future love.

Wow. What a truly moving and powerful story. We often take for granted the small gifts we give each other just by being present. I'm sad for the heartache. I'm glad you stayed and became. Who knows what little girl or boy will be attributing their life's purpose to some kindness you shared. Peace and Sunshine

You’re welcome Lauren looking forward to all the future stories :)

Thank you Tony. I appreciate all your support.

Thank you Tony. I appreciate all your support.

I’m sorry to hear about Brian but he was right you are too beautiful to not receive roses Lauren:)

[…] Here is why you need to stop being nice and start being loud […]

Thanks for this! So what movie set did you get on?

So nice Roger <3

Pat, Your letter touched me in a very profound way. It left me in tears in the middle of my work day. It made me want to share something with you. On a July morning in 2007 a police officer answered a 911 call I had made when my Mother went into cardiac arrest. Between that officer, my best friend and the fire fighters who showed up minutes later they were able to restart her heart, however at the hospital she passed away an hour later. At the end of his shift that officer stopped by my home to check on the situation and cried when I told him the unfortunate news I received only 4 hours prior. He tried to apologize to me. I looked at the anguish in his eyes and asked him directly what for? He described the ways he felt sorry. What I want to leave you with was my reply to him. I told him he had nothing to be sorry for because he answered the call in what was the darkest moment in my life. I told him that he was a hero regardless because it takes a special person to answer calls like that. You are a hero to people Pat. No one can ever take that away from you. I understand the process you're going through as I've been there myself and like you I still struggle with it when no one is looking. You aren't alone in this. I hope your healing process continues on and you can regain the happiness in this beautiful life. You'll always be a hero to those people, because you were there when the call came Best wishes Roger Chamberlain

Ruth, your letter moved me to tears. Once upon a time I was very closed off about the LGBT community but over a course of several years, I turned my fear into understanding and I actively stand with the community for their equal rights because it is the right thing to do.