Dear fear, fright, trepidation… “How many aliases do you have?” Dear friend and foe, how well I know you so. Today I name you collywobble, a silly name because I have found my strength, gained my foothold against you. “How?” you may ask. “Through SUFFERING.” I have found the way to defeat you. I have found my voice, and I will share on this platform of unwavering support. Through this… you will also know your defeat.

Six years ago, a battle began, a battle between honesty vs. deceit; righteousness vs. wickedness; genuine love vs. revenge. Though I fought a valiant battle, I was rigor’d with crippling trepidation, leaving me fragmented, my psyche exploding into pieces. A shadow enveloped me as I tried to speak my truth; my voice drowned out by malicious deception; losing my energy, my spirit, and trust within myself. I entered a place of SUFFERING and a pit of hopeless despair I never thought I could escape. Losing everyone I ever cared about. I knew nothing could save me now. I resigned myself, in its entirety. I SURRENDERED, I SUFFERED, I GRIEVED, FEELING TORMENTED DAY AND NIGHT WITHOUT ESCAPE. I knew no other way, but to CLING to everything I was losing, GRASPING… GRAPPLING… PAINFULLY REACHING FOR THE LIFE I ONCE HAD. TORMENTED BY THE HOLING ON.

I WAS FORCED TO LET GO…

LOVE RIPPED FROM MY SOUL…

As I learned to LET GO, I found my STRENGTH. I developed a new energy, realizing that this was all part of MY PLAN, MY JOURNEY, MY SOUL CONTRACT. This was the only way to KNOW MYSELF, LEARN MYSELF, and begin on this newfound path. I needed to face my worst fear, lose what I loved most, stare my demons in the face, and ultimately LET GO, my worst nightmare. Now… only through experience and anguish did I learn that LETTING GO is my best friend.
FRIEND OR FOE, HOW I KNOW YOU SO.

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