Fear, My Oldest Friend,
I need you, but not at this capacity. The original task assigned was to protect and guide me.
You used to lead with gentle nudges, but now you rule through crippling waves of fear. You’ve become the destroyer of dreams; the bringer of pain and disappointment.
You were wonderful once; glorious even, consistent, and exactly what I needed. Never letting me push too far, you were always there to support me. Excited to have fun, you’d jump at the chance to explore my limits throughout random adventures.
We did everything together. People referred to you as my imaginary friend, but you were so much more.
Do you remember when you helped me learn to ride a bike? Until I mastered my balance and control, you were persistent in coaxing me to wear my helmet and relentless when demanding I keep the training wheels intact.
The day finally arrived when dad removed those awful stabilizers, and mom readied herself to capture my first official take off. Nervous as I was, I couldn’t move, but you were steadfast and encouraging, instilling confidence to enable me to kick off the ground. And kick I did.
Fueled by confidence and renewed determination, it wasn’t long before I was at my top speed, pedaling my heart out. I felt you guiding me, reminding me to keep my focus, but you never tried to convince me to slow down.
I closed my eyes for only a moment as the warm breeze caressed my face just before whipping through my hair. Everything shifted as I felt myself floating through the air, embraced by the sky itself. I spent the day chasing that feeling, riding until the sun gave out, my legs not too far behind.
We made the perfect duo.
What happened?
Instead of training wheels, you’ve put me in chains.
I won’t lie; for a while I liked it, loved it even. It made me feel safe. But now, I want to feel more. I want to grow, spread my wings, and fly again.
I think you lost confidence in your abilities and, through fears of your own, began stifling me to stabilize your doubts.
It would be a lie to say I didn’t fear the complete loss of your confidence-inducing support. I long to hear your soft, encouraging whispers nudging me along – never afraid to let me fail while keeping me safe as I venture on. Instead, I am frozen by the foghorn warning you send reverberating through my body at the mere thought of reaching for something outside of this prison, posing as a safety net.
Regardless, I will begin my journey back to the skies with or without your support. I need to find myself again, without the restraints I’ve allowed you to implement.
This letter is my battle cry; a plea to convince you to push through your hesitations and join me. I sincerely hope you accept.
Sky’s the limit.
Me
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