Dear Eternal Dolor, 

Before you became the pain, you were the love, the light, the hope. 

After locking eyes, you brought light to the fade. 

Following a sealed kiss, you gave me warmth to my tremble. 

Behind your ‘I Love You’, you furnished my aspiration to an unknown future. Love of My Life. That’s what you were. That’s what you were deemed to be. 

Until you became what I feared, my unforeseen dolor.

Before your true colors manifested, you made me forever promises for which I sought. 

We envisioned a whole future, you and I. 

Me dressed in white, while you in a tie. 

Living in a home overseeing open spaces in summer heat. 

Watching offsprings run like wild horses, free and lively. 

Holding hands, wrinkled and fragile, as we’d take our final breaths to drift in our everlasting skies. 

It was all planned and set in stone until you became what I feared. The hit that broke the bone. 

In the end, you left your weight on my shoulders for me to tumble. 

Your silence struck my peace like boulders falling from high mountains. 

The distance you desired from me felt like miles of ocean. 

Casted words pierced my heart like push pins stabbing pictures on a wall you once admired.

Broken and weak. Scared and deficient. My fear overwhelmed me. 

You became what I feared.

The betrayal.

The loss.

The grief.

The lie.

My dear, eternal dolor. 

Hours, days, weeks, and months have passed. Wound is still fresh but stitched. 

Every setting we shared in sight are now memories. Memories forever are engraved to my mind, body, and soul.

No regrets. No time wasted. 

I loved you more than you loved me. 

I loved you more than when the sun rises from the east to greet the soil. 

I loved you more than witnessing acts of kindness among total strangers. 

I loved you more than myself. Was that not enough? 

Love for own self became the hope. 

Love for own self became fuel to a burning fire I did not know I carried. 

Love for own self took me out of dark paths that you were already heading towards. 

Love for own self gave me courage like when prey faces its predator. 

Face to face. Eye to eye. 

Love for own self rescued me from thy dolor. The feel of forever but not always present. 

My Eternal Dolor.  

Sincerely, 

Your True Love You Will Never Have Again

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