When I ask the most intricate parts of myself what is the goal, they respond in the most sweetest and saddest way. “Lauryn you can either expand, be complacent or smaller”. Will this year be better the same or worse? I would most certainly love for the goal to be me expanding so wide there’s only room for the things that will benefit me. Expanding the uncomfortableness so much it pops into extraordinary memories that’s so vivid I can truly see. Doing things only the childhood Lauryn imagined. Don’t die Lauryn stay alive. That has always been the ultimate goal. When the pain is overwhelming me with doubts and fears of abandonment, confusion, control your emotions so they don’t swallow you whole. Let that be the goal. Being certain in my uncertainties has allowed me to envision the worst and best at times. Thinking 100 miles per hour, but moving so damn slow. Lauryn go. Don’t slip into the what if category. Dont get caught and arrested by the imposter police because it’s hard to get out and simply be free and believe you can do things. I must let myself know to go. Let that be my ultimate goal.

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