to listen in order to speak,
to speak in order to be heard-
a human flaw we’ve come to
adopt
robbing us of the beauty of
what it means to be
human
to connect-
fully.

we live in a world where your response
matters more
than the proposal,
where the aftermath, the outcome,
is better than the journey-
we’ve lost the beauty in the becoming
too busy rushing to be.

we’ve adopted the butterfly
as the mascot of freedom,
her beautiful wings spreading wide,
ready to take on the world-
we neglect
what it took to get there
the caterpillar who lurks,
stuck in the before.

we celebrate our 18th birthday
then our 21st
then the 25th
and our 30th.
glossing over the others-
because, somehow
they’re unimportant.

and at 30,
you’ll wonder where your 20s went-
as if you didn’t
only celebrate them twice.

at 30, you’ll wonder where time went,
feeling like you lost your ‘prime’
as if,
during this time,
you weren’t just waiting for the next best thing:
turn 30, get married, own a home,
start a family.

now what?

you’ll wait to turn 40.
maybe gather family for celebrations
as you realize you are just a
watered down version of yourself-
the dreamer of your 20s slowly
slipped through the drains of a city
that used to inspire you-

you’ll wonder what happened to your zest,
when you stopped writing,
when you stopped looking up,
and looking down instead.

maybe-
you got too used to it
to enjoy it-
the architecture used to wow you,
now
you casually pass it by on your weekly Sunday walk to trader joe’s,
you don’t look up at it anymore,
or stop in the middle of the street
to capture the perfect photo,
one that will humble you-
and will live on,
or so you thought.

but it didn’t stop there,
you stopped smiling at strangers
you stopped losing your breath every time you saw the Manhattan skyline at night
your inspirations became too comfortable
and the appreciation swept away.

so what’s next?

you’ll turn 40 and realize half a life has gone by
since you last had a
lust for life,
half a life has gone by
since you last got your breath taken away
by the beauty of your new home.

so, you’ll spend the next 20 years
begging for your youth back
as the wrinkles multiply-
you’ll celebrate every
single
birthday
between 40 and 60,
because there is 20 birthdays inbetween
40 and 60-
not just four.

you’ll teach yourself the in-betweens
are worth celebrating too,
that turning 42 is somehow,
just as special as turning 21-

you’ll teach yourself that while
it feels like you have already lived so
many lives,
it’s still your first- and only- life.

you’ll teach your kids that you’re still growing up too-
that youthfulness and adulthood can coexist,
that 60 is the new 21
and to listen is
just as important
as to speak.