Write it down. Leave nothing out of the paper. No spaces. You don’t have to buy a fancy notebook that makes it feel like a task or an obligation. It’s just you and your pen. If you use a pencil, you’ll correct yourself. There’s nothing that needs to be fixed or edited. It already happened. Don’t use your screens and fingertips. Take yourself back to a time when you didn’t stop until writing hurt your knuckles. When you were so into it, the writing stopped making sense to anyone but you. Talking to yourself won’t cut it. Let your thoughts watch you ink them out loud. Let your pain jump from you into the white surface. Let your scars open up and ooze onto the parchment. Write about when you’re delighted. When you dropped your first pencil in class. It was so quiet, and everyone was looking.
Did it hurt to be watched? You take these times with you wherever you go. Put them down so you can make space for every day. What now? Read them. You were there. You felt it happen. Being honest with yourself is more challenging when you’re distracted by everything around you. When you’re worried about someone else peeking in. Just make it all stop. Write it down. You don’t have to be a Scrabble champion to scribble. Doodle, turn it into life. Don’t throw it away. Look back at it to see how far your cow jumped over the moon. When it’s over, turn to the next page, get up, and live in the now.