Dear Unsealers,
Happy 6th Birthday! Today is YOUR special day—one that will become a pivotal turning point in your life, over and over. There may be some words used in this letter that you don’t understand, but one day, they will all make sense. I am so proud to celebrate with you today, sweet girl. When you get home from school, Mom, Mamaw, and Papaw will have your favorite white birthday cake, topped with the sugary goodness of white icing and roses piped all around the cake’s edge.

After a celebration at home, the neighbors will invite you up to their house, so that they may also celebrate with you today. Papaw will walk you up to the neighbors’ front porch and tell you to have a good time. You’ll ring the doorbell, while searching in your head for the mask of excited anticipation.

The Dad, The Mom, and The four-year-old Son, will gather round and sing, “Happy Birthday,” as you settle in around their kitchen table. You’ll open gifts of strap-on roller skates and your first ever set of rainbow nail polish. After presents and cupcakes, The Dad will announce to you and The Son, that it’s time to go downstairs and play hide-n-seek. You’ll start to panic, and once again, the vomit will rise up in your throat. As your heartbeat quickens, you’ll announce before you go downstairs that you have to go to the bathroom. You’ll run into the bathroom, reach up on your tippy toes to lock the door, then run to the toilet, barely making it before you throw up both chocolate cupcake and the white cake you had eaten at Mamaw’s and Papaw’s. You’ll wipe off your mouth and stick it up under the sink faucet to get some water and swish out your mouth. With your little hand propped at the bathroom doorknob, you’ll breathe in and out, bracing and preparing for hide-n-seek.

The Son will hide first. The Dad will pick you up, slide his hand up your pretty blue birthday dress, and walk around pretending to find The Son. Next, it’ll be time for you and The Dad to hide. You know exactly where he will go…back in the corner behind the stack of musty quilts. It’s a place The Son won’t go, because The Dad has convinced him a monster lives back there with a bunch of spiders. Once again, your breathing quickens, and your hands start to sweat. The Dad will lie you down on your back, like so many times before, and you’ll begin to whimper.

You’ll want it to be over quickly, so you will do everything The Dad says. With each time you play hide-n-seek, you will wonder what’s wrong with you that The Dad does unspeakable things to you. After it’s over, The Dad will throw a ball out from the hell hiding place, in order to give The Son validation that indeed you both are hiding back in the bowels of the house.

The house phone will ring, and The Mom will yell down the steps that Mamaw called and it’s time to go home. The Dad will pick up and carry The Son, while he opens the basement door to let you out. You’ll see Papaw at the end of the driveway, run and jump in his arms, burying your face into his neck, and crying. Papaw will ask you what’s wrong, but you’ll remember at each of the dirty hide-n-seeks, that The Dad tells you if you tell anyone what happens back in that monster corner, then he will use his police gun to hurt Papaw.

The trauma of what occurs in the neighbor’s basement will go on for some time. But you will continue to grow stronger and eventually use your voice loudly and say, “NO MORE!” Loving guy relationships will be complicated for the next 20 years. There will be many times when you will think you can’t go on, and that no one will ever love you based on your childhood. You will prevail and find love. You will fight with every fiber in your body to climb out of the trauma hole caused by one man, who should have been protecting you. Always remember it is not your fault, sweet girl.

There will be many doctor and nurse professionals that will come in and out of your life. Even though it will be hard, please embrace them. They will help you achieve the best version of yourself. Through these professionals, you will learn the monster in that dark, dingy basement was The Dad, and the spiders were his hands. You will also learn that Papaw will be your lifelong savior, and your love for him will serve as your guiding beacon for the rest of your life.