You hear so many stories that end with
“that could of been me”
“That could of been my reality”

You hear so many stories
That end opposite
Of what happened to you

I was born 1 pound 9 ounces at 26 weeks
With my twin sister who didn’t make it unfortunately
Yet I am sitting here as a 30 year old woman
With a family of my own

You hear so many stories
of a predator being around a kid
taking advantage of them in there youth
when they feel they are being cornered
they do something to cover there tracks
leaving that child without breath

yet I’m sitting in front of you
a product of child abuse
not only physically
sexually at a young age
yet, I’m still here to say
I survived, I am willing to speak for them
who didn’t make it out of the abuse the predator inflicted

you hear so many stories
as the young girl gets older
she digs deeper to fill an emptiness inside
that she tries to fill that void with a guy
since she never knew the right way to love
she thought that abuse was a sign he cared

I sit here and think
despite the abuse I received
despite my mental woes
I was able to marry a man who cares
who treats me like a queen
gives me everything I need
was willing to be patient
from 19 years old he held me in his arms
wouldn’t let go
now 30, with 3 beautiful kids
laughter ringing in our ears
from the moment we wake
until we go to sleep
rising back up the next day
to do it all again

you hear so many stories
of a couple living with there parents
struggling to make it out of there families house

yet after a few years
we were able to pay off our debt
being accepted, like I was there own daughter
they gave me a place to lay my head
we rode the bus and walked carrying groceries
they never judged in any way
they planned our wedding
shared so much love
until one day we are able to say
we moved out our parents home
into our own space

I am able to pull up to our apartment
we have called home for 3 years
accumulated 4 reliable vehicles in those years
a house we can call our own
stability at jobs we’ve had for years
accumulating so many skills
moving from hourly to salary
able to give our kids everything they need
so they can thrive inside our home
sharing there light everywhere they go

you hear so many stories
many being called by the Lord
yet they do not answer the door

despite what felt like a crumbling foundation
my husband going to the military
I heard the call The Lord spoke to me
I answered and He began working with me
although my husband was miles away
he was also being worked on by The Lord
I began writing again
finding a gift I left a long time ago
I began writing for The Lord
I prayed to Him and asked
what am I suppose to do with this gift of my hands?

He spoke through my mom who called
right after I said amen
told me that I was suppose to write a poetry Autobiography about my life
we hung up and tears poured down my face
I asked him to help me tell my story
it won’t be easy but I’m willing to do it
if He gives me the words to write
I read my Bible and fasted
for months poems came to me on my drive to work
I wrote them down once I parked
writing a poetry Autobiography that personal to me
has always been my lifelong dream

by then my husband came home
he helped me find a way to publish through Amazon
break free was the title that ranged in my ears
I was able to heal from so much baggage at hand
now my family together again
we began to melt as one
finding peace in each other’s arms
with support in our families bubble
growing day by day as we shared our stories
on our individual journeys

baseball games and championship wins
going to a airshow my husband showed the Chinook
proud family smiles we all shared
as I look back and think
I have so much growth to be thankful for
so much life I’ve got to live
finding my purpose along the way
discovering my voice inside the rain

it’s not one thing I’m grateful for
it’s not one person I want to give thanks to
I feel grateful to be standing here
despite what the day brings
I am living life abundantly
with love that flows in every vein
lineage and wealth from the depth of our souls

laughter and personalities that light up rooms
testimonies that will cause tears to stream
divine protection in every season
tests and lessons that break the mold
creating a new path for the next generations to go

I am so grateful for many things
a list that can go on for days
before my head hits my bed
I pray a prayer of gratitude
it all started as a thought on your head
that you know every hair that lies upon my head
the path that I was always meant to go
the bumps upon the road
you knew it all and went ahead
I am eternally grateful for your divine timing and presence you bring
I will walk down the straight and narrow path
following your light that shines so bright

I thank you for the love I give
the lessons I learn from my kids
the love and protection my husband gives
the bright smiles I receive
the affirming words they bring
I am in awe when it comes to my life at hand
I wake up happy despite what plays in my head
there is no other place I’d rather be
then here at home with my family
praising you in every moment
building a relationship while you’re molding
me into the vessel you always called me to be
I am at peace you have bought my being