It’s been forever since I was who I used to be.
Today, my life is simple – but one day, I will be free
from the prison of my mind and my fading memory.
God help them to remember, who I used to be.

Some days they are strangers in my world of mistaken thought.
Reaching, grasping, struggling to recall all I forgot.
As conversations jumble in a room of family fun
I don’t keep up, I can’t respond – I simply want to run.

But then a child will hug my arm, “Nani, will you come and play?”
I find my smile, my arms reach out – my eyes call out to say,
“I’m here, I see you, I have something sweet to give…
I love you more than I can say. I have reason now to live.”

Hoping not to disappoint as I have no words to say,
frustration grows, anger builds, humiliation carries me away.
They start to sing to bring me back from that swirl of anxiety.
I hear their song, sing right along, and for a moment, I feel like me.

They hold tight to thoughts of better days, of gathering with each other
My life once defined as a friend, a wife, and loving mother.
So thankful for the peace I feel, as I love God faithfully,
awaiting His promise, I’ll be whole again, with my Lord in eternity.

Thank you, Jesus, for your love. Thank you for your grace.
As I fade away from the life I knew, I’ll rest in your embrace.
I long for peace and calmness as you take me in your arms,
and soon be restored and safe, as you keep me from all harm.

Thank you for the compassion as you taught them how to care.
Thank you for your comfort, for I knew you were always there.
And when you finally free me from my fading memory,
my pain removed, my thoughts revealed, from this prison, I will be free.

(Imagining the “what if” of having Alzheimer’s)
Copyright 2025

My Dearest,
You’ve taught me to love beyond what I thought possible, to care deeply with gentleness, and to consider another before myself. In your neediness, I knew I was needed. I pray I will always treat you tenderly, never causing you to be any less than what God has intended you to be. When I fall short, your undeserved forgiveness pierces my soul, reminding me that your response is not based solely on my perfection but equally on your acceptance of my loving care. You have strength without me, but we are stronger as we grow together. I am honored by your selfless gift of life, filling my day with color and beauty as you share a sense of joy, newness, and hope. I see you in the kiss of the sunlight and watch as a light breeze softly touches and moves you.
I am moved to protect you from harm, to remove obstacles and imperfections, allowing the glow of your beauty to be unharnessed. You trust me. You welcome my tender care. You respond.
As the sun drops into darkness, I dream of you and pray you will be safe while I slumber. Morning finds me anxious again for you, with hope that your rest brought yet more fullness to your very existence. But I know you will go. You must go. The briefness of your stay causes my heart to hold tighter, longer, embracing each moment I have with you. And then…slowly, painfully, you fade away, despite my gentle encouragement to stay awhile longer. You cannot stay. I do accept this. Each time, I accept this as a natural, expected part of our sweet relationship. You must move on. The memory of your beauty intricately mingles with my longing for your return. My senses are heightened in the memory of your uniqueness and the fragrance and soft elegance of your presence. And I wait. And wait. Patiently, through the seasons, with anticipation, I await your return.
You always return.
You are my daffodils, the delightful blossoms of my life, and I will forever love you.
Your devoted gardener,
Suzi

ENTRY for the contest: Write a love letter to something, not someone.
By Suzanne Peppers – February 28, 2025
Typewriter4good@gmail.com * 916-201-4520