I don’t think I will ever have THAT kind of strength again. As I review every month in my mind – my eyes water, my heart stings, I can’t breathe.
With each passing month, I ebb between gladness and sorrow. I push through. My mind fogs some, and I’m grateful. Clarity hurts. To believe in Truth and then have it snatched away is a punch, confusing at best.
I know that stillness heals. Not at first, but in time. Though kindness is at bay, I reach and hope for connection.
When darkness falls, I refuse to give in. I stay alert. I stay here.
I am tender under the weight. I see you too. There is more. The work, the very hard work, and the claiming pay off. Let’s finish well. Forgive.
Jump start tomorrow. Keep believing this path is good and necessary and yours. Announce it. The line no longer matters.
I hear the cheers. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
© Stephanie Connors
Midnight written March 2020