I understood you to be my security. I understood that you wanted me. I understood that life without me was void of all possibilities. You said you loved me, unlike others. When you gave me visions for the future, you helped me see all your potential. I knew what was normal for me was not normal for others, yet I did not understand why. When the negatives came, I knew it to be my fault, for I had no other knowledge. I questioned how I could have made this happen. My perfection was not good enough to deliver the future you desired. Upon realizing what the future had to hold with my marred life, you tossed me aside.

Disfigured in disgrace, I got up again and was ready to move forward when blow after blow you knocked me down. Again, I realize my responsibility in not delivering your future to you. I look at my open hands and wonder why did God make perfection with a flaw. Perhaps you did, perhaps I did. You made something so perfect on the outside, but when you look into the center, everyone can see the imperfections, the damage, the hole.

What is left to do from here? The flaw is unmendable. It is now a part of the perfection you created, and like a crack in a windshield, the shattering is starting to spread across the entirety of the being of who I am. I wonder if others can now see the flaw in my perfection, as I can no longer hide the shattering. I should have been able to stop the disfiguring. I should have been able to be strong enough to stop the shattering. I should have been able to be more, but alas, the flaw has overcome me, and all that is left is a disgraced life. Others will be affected by the flaw, not the perfection. Others will have to see the weakness instead of the strength. Others will see a future so twisted by the past that they have to look away. Thank you for my flaw. We shall live together in harmony forever.