Hey you,

I’m almost certain that the memory of me has faded by now, but I often think of you and how your smile would light up a room full of shadows and anguish. I recall that if anyone could turn anything into an inquisition, it was you. With your coarse hair, knobby knees, and fire-filled personality, to me, the only thing that could stop you was God himself. The way your feet would pitter-patter down the street to hustle the neighbors for money so that you could buy a treat! But don’t worry, your entrepreneurial journey was only beginning, my friend.

Are we still friends? They say relationships are give and take, but while you gave, I turned my back and walked away.

I didn’t think I needed your lying tongue, naive antics, sad thoughts, and broken heart. It was all too much to carry, or so I thought. The part of you that I judged was exhausting, and life seemed to go on exceptionally well without me burdening myself with your pain. However, I write this letter not to condemn you but to beg for your forgiveness. This vain, shallow heart didn’t realize that the parts of you were where I drew my strength.

I am sorry I never told you that I love you. That your laugh reminds me of Bob the Builder and your fierce sense of justice is my moral compass. That your inability to be a “yes man” was my only protection. I am sorry that I took your heart for granted. Your ability to forgive is unmatched, and your view of love is out of this world. Your family and friends viewed you as unstoppable, while I viewed you as a liability.

I am sorry that it took me so long to realize your worth. You are perfectly imperfect in my eyes. I don’t expect you to welcome me back with open arms, but I am committed to mending our relationship because you were the best part of my life.

Love,
You

Stand at attention with a smile on your face.
You dare not make your family fall from grace.
Black and excellence rarely mix.
But in this society, we all need our fix.
A hint of praise and worship you see.
The version that is anything but you and me.
Giggle, smile, and give them a twirl.
But, please bury your trauma, little black girl.

Commit yourself to being the best.
You must not associate yourself with the rest.
Iron your clothes and be so sweet.
But, hush while they take a bite of your forbidden treat.
Marry young and honor your vow.
But, when he attacks you don’t dare say ow.
Always be approachable and serene.
Otherwise, this world will think you’re mean.
Build your story on amazing goals.
Just remember not to climb too far out of your hole.
There is no space for beauty and grace.
They are all watching and waiting for you to fall on your face.
Parade yourself and give them a whirl.
But, please bury your trauma, little black girl.

Pretend like “strong” is a compliment you wish to hear.
The kind of credit you can hold dear.
Put your hands out and stay on guard
You can’t let your loved ones know this life is too hard.
Encourage the next generation to reach for the sky.
Never let them know how much you wanted to die.
Hide the thoughts that make you hurl.
Remember to bury your trauma, little black girl.

No! Wait! Please don’t go.
There’s a little more you MUST know.
You don’t need to pretend to fit in.
You are enough from your beginning until your end.
The pain is sharp and unkind.
But, your heart is a compliment of your mind.
When you look in the mirror remember your name.
Because little black girl you and I are the same.
Don’t bury your trauma and let them win.
No one is above their sin.

You meet the one that makes you better.
The one that spends time writing YOU a letter.
You have not one, but three little ones you adore.
That sweet soul is now nurturing more.
In many ways, you go on to lead.
Trust me, I got to see you succeed.
You persevered through it all.
So, in this next chapter let’s have a ball.

I love you, I do.
You will prosper, this much is true.
Because I am you and you are me.
Together, we are finally free!