dear eight year old navara,
how are things? i know the obvious answer is not so great and i’m sorry to have to ask but i wasn’t really sure how else to start this letter. how’s my dad? has he been eating? sleeping? try to make sure he’s taking care of himself, and don’t let the girls see him like that, they don’t need that right now. they need a strong big sister, a role model, things are different now and she’s not coming back to fix them so it falls on you. you don’t deserve to have to take on that responsibility, but someone has to do it. make sure they eat. keep your grades up, don’t cause any reason for worry from teachers, and daddy has enough to worry about with the bills. don’t rock the boat, get the laundry done, keep the room clean, and make sure you guys get to school on time. just keep the peace. you can do this navara. you shouldn’t have to but you can. you have your books, your music and it will get you through. i promise you that. and let me tell you how i know. i am in a library right now writing to you. i drove here in the car that we own, and we drove from our job at the mall. we only worked four hours today but hey it pays the bills and it’s emotionally fulfilling, as well as physically and mentally. we got a raise recently! our friends at work have our back, and i can honestly say its safe to be ourselves. they value our opinion, understand us, and help us when we allow them to, but we are working on that. as for outside of work, we are 21 now, so we go out occasionally… didn’t expect that did you? yeah girl, we actually dance! in fact, that is the main reason we go out. far cry from timid us who was afraid of boys, group projects, and any sort of human interaction whatsoever. we grew. beautiful thing isn’t it? we have a photo shoot with a friend coming up in late august, and we journal now. it helps a lot with the feelings. we have a book club and guess what the first book is? her favorite : twilight. we visit her sometimes. they buried her under a tree. it’s really peaceful. in fact we’re going there today. we talk everyday, but i thought i’d visit her today. i would tell you what we talk about but i’m not sure you’re ready for that yet. we buy groceries and pay rent now. i’m telling you, we’re real adults now. not fully on our own yet but we’ll get there. we learned how to be frugal from daddy, and it definitely doesn’t go unnoticed. i still catch myself getting mad at the both of them, one for leaving physically and the other emotionally but i know it does no one any good. on days like this though i remember why it had to happen the way it did. it brought me here. under the tree. at peace.