I’m sorry. Lillie, I am so sorry for everything you went through. For every feeling you felt. Every fear you had. I honestly don’t know how you made it through as well as you did. I know a lot of your prison walls were your own walls you built. But I also know you picked up on our families actions and vibes as well, which laid the foundation for…read more

This was written November 26th, 2020. I had been struggling with the death of a friend; it happened to hit a little too close to home for me. I had a sense of survivor’s guilt. I felt that it should have been, could very easily have been me. It wreaked havoc on my mental state for months, thus my therapist suggested writing this in her m…read more

I used to have an outie, and now I have an innie! March 19th, 2024, what most people know as Taco Tuesday had an entirely different meaning for me as Taco Tuesday. It is 6am and I am at the UNC Hospital in Hillsborough. I have checked in for my procedure, had my vitals taken and signed all the paperwork I needed to sign. I have met my surgical…read more

This was written on July 12th, 2019. It was the day of my legal name change. I would wake up that morning as Greg and go to work, and that evening I would go to bed as Lillie. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, not because I was unsure of myself but because I had socially transitioned only 5 weeks prior.
I spent 43 years as Greg, hiding…read more

I wrote this to myself July 2nd of 2019. This was in the days leading up to my name change. My therapist had suggested some kind of ceremony, something to commemorate my name change. I had struggled with wanting to do something for this milestone in my life, I had socially transitioned 3 weeks prior, and I really wanted to celebrate my transition…read more

What do I even call you? Gregory? Lillie? I’ve wrestled with that these last few months as I’ve been finding myself in this world and really trying to figure out WHO I am.
On paper and in pictures and in so many people’s memories, you were a little boy and on some levels that still bothers me that I was robbed of a childhood I only ever was a…read more

My parents told me ever since I was a little boy that I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up. They would say things like, ‘Gregory, you’re so smart. You can accomplish anything if you set your mind to it.’ ‘Greg, you’re good at everything you try. If you’d just apply yourself, you can have a great career.’ But those are just things…read more

I always knew I was different, yet the ability to articulate exactly what I felt eluded me for most of my life, especially the early years. I grew up in the 80’s, pre internet, so I didn’t know there were other people in the world like me. When the internet came about, I learned that I was a crossdresser. Though that didn’t exactly fit me, it was…read more