Dear You,
From the day you were born, you had trouble.
Your parents always told you, “if you were the first you would have been the last.”
Your siblings always called you “fat lips” or “venus fly trap.”
Your friends always criticized you for asking “stupid” questions.
The hard truth is, you just didn’t know.
You thought you were going to be the highschool dropout, the failure of the family, the
kid that people always called “not the brightest crayon in the box” because you couldn’t read, or
write, or count, or do anything in particular.
Your looks were average, your learning capabilities were below average, so what could
you do to make it to the top of the food chain?
Absolutely nothing.
Cry yourself to sleep, harm yourself until your Mom screams at you and your Granny
tells you how disappointed she is. But it’s okay, you only wanted the attention anyway.
To feel loved, really.
You went from school, to school, to school.
Teachers could not teach,
Kids laughed at you for getting the answer wrong,
And you hated yourself.
Your favorite color was blue, you loved to read, and lacrosse was your escape from
reality.

You finally found your way up the food chain, you were athletic, you were called a
daredevil for the crazy things you did, but sometimes, you felt scared.
Mom and Dad wanted you to play lacrosse in college, but you were barely getting
through elementary school, middle school, high school. Everything was so pointless and you just
wanted to lay in bed until your Dad yelled at you to do something, anything, anywhere.
You found joy when you got two kittens. You named them Sassy and Buddy. They helped
you through the pandemic.
You got to snuggle them and they would never tell you anything that you didn’t want to
hear.
They only ever loved you.
You were diagnosed with mental disorders and learning disabilities.
Buddy had emergency surgery. He didn’t make it. Neither did your old dog, Lexi. Your
world shattered.
You vowed to cherish your animals for as long as possible. You vowed to take photos of
them whenever you could. You never know when they will leave this world.
You tried to be happy for the people around you. For your friends, your siblings, your
parents and teachers and anyone else who cared. It was always so, so hard.
You rediscovered your love for writing. Your teacher at your new school cared about you
and looked out for you. You made new friends. You committed to a college to play lacrosse. You
felt like you were healing.
You got into that college. You went to a suicide victim’s funeral, and then another. You
became angry at them, for leaving such a beautiful world. But then you remembered how ugly it
had been to you.

You moved away to college. You went to your Grand Dad’s funeral. You had a hard time
fitting in. You had to put down one of your horses at home on the farm. Your confidence was
faltering. But your academics were the only thing that mattered.
A’s and B’s. No more, no less. If you fail, your whole life would be for nothing. Your
dreams would be lost. Fail and you lose.
You enter your second year of college, and you confessed to your teammate that you
weren’t happy. You confessed to yourself at that moment, and you cried. She tells you that she
loves you, and she’ll help you get through this. Your other teammates are nicer to you, they talk
to you and involve you in things. It makes you happy to feel loved.
Even when it may not be real.
In your heart it’s real. It will help you feel better about yourself.
You vowed to love everyone so they never feel how you did for your entire life.
You vowed to heal.
Your journey isn’t over, and you have a long way to go. But through the ups and downs
you finally feel like you’re ready to find peace with yourself.
Dear You,
Thank you for loving you when no one else would.
You’ve been through so much.

Best,