Hey there, it’s me, the woman you grew up to be. I know you’re scared right now, terrified actually. I also know you’re hurt beyond belief. That’s okay. I’d like to ask you to listen to me though, I have some things I’d like to tell you. Mother may not have known how to deal with you for a good majority of our lives. Hell, she’s still struggling. That’s the thing though, she is also struggling. The way she was brought up, shaped her into the adult and mother she became, kind of like us. In no way am I excusing the things she said and did to you, I am just saying it is more complicated for you to understand as a child. Her lack of emotional intelligence, nurturment, and capacity to understand, was more than detrimental. I know you didn’t have a safe space to turn to, I know you felt like you meant nothing. You didn’t deserve it though, any of it. You deserved kindness, compassion, empathy, help, and most of all, love. I have to tell you something pretty amazing though. Even though she didn’t give you, us, those things, those are all the things you learned back then, and have become today. Speaking of people who did you wrong, I want to talk about that boy. The one who took advantage of you. The one who took your purity, and turned you into a rebellious teenager. As hard as it is for me to say this because it has been a belief in us for so long, it was not your fault. And you did not deserve to have that happen to you. He was an unsafe person, with horrid intentions, and he acted upon those intentions. You did not ask for it to happen. All you were trying to do was take a break from our mother. You survived though. I have to tell you, things turn out to be pretty decent in later years. Yes, so many other things happened before now. You started coping in negative and dangerous ways at fourteen. You had to deal with your mental health on your own, or at times, at the hand of our mother. You met a boy, one that turned out to be an extremely painful relationship. I want to talk to you about him. Please know, that it’s okay to speak up and talk about him and everything that happened between you and him. It’s okay to let go, even though he is attached to our daughter. We need to work through that portion of our lives, just like everything else. He started as a great guy, but we both know how quickly that shifted. You dealt with copious amounts of mental and verbal abuse. To be blunt, he screwed with your mind to no end. Also, a huge part of your life, that you did not deserve to live through. I’m telling you, it’s okay that we talk about it. It’s okay to cry about it. It will be okay. If it’s okay, I’d like to tell you about some people in the present, who love and accept us both. Even though we fight sometimes, we have a very supportive and loving husband. He accepts us for who we are, nothing less. We have five beautiful children. We may not have given birth to three of them, but we are their mom too. That’s right, mom, not mother. Our doctor of nearly five years now, she’s another person who accepts us. She has taken care of us has been patient with us when needed, and has been one of the most helpful people on our care team. The last person I want to tell you about is the one who has been the most helpful to us. After close to twenty therapists since we were twelve, we finally found one who doesn’t push, beat around the bush, belittle, or look at us with disbelief. She has gained my trust, I think it’s time she gains your trust as well. She is a safe space for you to let your thoughts and feelings out. Please, trust me when I say we can heal all of these wounds. She is here to help us. I hope you found some words of encouragement throughout this letter. Maybe even some words you needed to hear from me, not just other people. I have to say, you turned out to be a pretty great person. Yes, there were times when I was toxic, didn’t have boundaries, and made mistakes. But that’s life, we’re still learning things. Just know, from the bottom of my heart, I love you.