His legal name is Marcus, to my sister, Pops.
To me he’s always been Nam, from the age of 3 and 4 to even when I was working at IHOP. Large in stature, and quite a clown. I was seldom sad with him around.

When I was a little girl, you were the greatest daddy in the land. Over time, we grew apart, I saw the chinks in your armor, you saw my attitude. Sometimes I thought life dealt me a bad hand.

You see, I like your humor and your deep belly laughs. Sometimes I needed deep, serious conversation when I would beckon, “Dad?”

Through the lessons in life and the things I learned in school, I realized despite your shortcomings, to deny your love for me would make me look a fool.

Seldom would a tear come to your eye; but, you cried rivers when you thought there would be no more you and I. My bio dad said you wept on his shoulder begging him not to take me away. You received new hope and faith when you learned I was back to stay.

You were there for my operation, and when I was so weak from my ED I needed to be spoon-fed. Helen Keller could see how much you love me; and, how fortunate I am to call you Dad. I know now you couldn’t give the kind of support you never had.

To think I could unlove you was such a mistake. When I read the words, “He has cancer and three months to live” caused my heart to break. I came back to the nest to be by your side. I held your hand, played your favorite songs, and listened as you cried.

You told me the song you would want to hear for the father-daughter dance on my wedding day. It pains me so to know you won’t be able to give me away.

You always sailed through life, never as rigid as I. Therefore, in your honor, as I end this, I’ll resist the urge to rhyme.

Nam was but a mere nickname without meaning for so long; but, realizing that we share are connection so deep that is never beyond repair, here’s what Nam now stands for:
Never give up
Always have faith
Miracles happen.

Instead of Namaste, Nam, I’ll stay cherishing the many memories of you. Our journey inspires me to stay strong knowing that no matter what, love is the most powerful force that can keep me afloat amidst the most trying times. As you’re looking down on me, I’ll keep moving forward with my head up.