Oh the things I’ve had to survive…
Always weathering the storm; at what point do I thrive?
My experience did not equate to my deeds.
But I kept my dignity; could not bargain nor plead.
Yet I became sick, wondering how one could leave…
A new, single mother; another mouth to feed.
Nothing left to do but pause, make art, and follow His Lead.
Suspended in space; a moment of peace…
My heart beating fast; still no relief.
No time to cry or wonder why.
‘But oh, my darling, you are the eye.’
Nothing left to chase; no where left to go; no new ways to numb.
A look in the mirror; ‘Lord, what have I become?’
So disassociated; everyone must know…
Yet back into my body I go…
How scary? How almost unsafe?
‘Holy Mary…’ I connected with grace.
I made the world go quiet; kept my circle small…handed over my fears; cut any attention towards what could befall.
What a beautiful trinity; mother, child, and God.
Untouchable to any force that could poke or prod.
‘Go through your flow,’ I say to my class…with access to child’s pose; access to rest… With sovereignty, autonomy…too blessed to stress.
I considered the birthrights of peace and of breath… one hand on my belly; the other on my chest.
Access to my birthrights at any and all times; the power of presence was suddenly mine.
Permission to be new; permission to choose.
On the mat there is nothing to prove.
A look in my daughter’s eyes; she is everything I admire.
Such joy to relish in, before I expire.