Dear Younger Self,

Remember the times when you thought, or had been told by anyone, that if you looked a certain way to be beautiful, then a guy would fall head over heels for you?

Deep down, the advice isn’t fully true. However, it never helped when others made compliments on your curvy body or even went as far as to compare you to your peers, or even worse, to your older sisters who already had their lives figured out while you’re still searching for yours.

We can’t help it whenever we’re socially awkward, no matter how hard we try to act smart, rehearse conversations beforehand, keep quiet, or tell a joke that nobody understands.

Exercise is always rewarding, yet we’ll probably never compete in the big sports with some muscles in the knees fighting against each other, which commands a slower workout pace in taking care of ourselves.

You’ve had crushes, most of which are the good types. I apologize that almost all of them only saw you as a “friend” or the “nice girl,” knowing full well that they will never ask you out, as they had seen past you instead of through you. It’s even worse when three crushes confidently tell you they like your friends.

You’ve been a people pleaser for so many years because you wanted many friends, so you would never feel lonely. You hated judgment, criticism, and disappointment, and yet there was often one small wrong detail that you didn’t get right.

You’ve wondered if you weren’t pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, strong enough, skilled enough, or funny enough, then who were you supposed to be?

You kept masking with a brave face, putting others before yourself. But at the end of the day, you’re only human, praying that there will be someone there for you, to hold you and say, “this too shall pass.”

You have now come to a point where you realize, “I’ll never be good enough, no matter how hard I try.” I’m so sorry that we came to that eye-opening conclusion.

However, there are some things in my present self that I can say to you as a piece of wisdom: in a world that says either you’re good enough or not at all, there is no one-hundred percent belief on either side. We believe, and live by, the belief that “we’re not perfect, nobody ever is, we are enough and we’re still learning.”

If something needs improving, we can learn by applying a growth mindset and prosper. It never needs perfection. It never required human approval. It needs care. It needs growth. It needs to make good daily choices, no matter how old you get.

Not skilled enough? You’re getting experience.

Not talented enough? You’re practicing what needs to be better than the first few or hundred times.

Not strong enough? Be gracious to yourself in both physically, mentally, and emotionally ways.

Not funny enough? You have your special sense of humor, so own it!

Not smart enough? Still applying any source of useful tools and education from books, videos, and teachers.

Not pretty enough? Have your definition of true beauty to stand by, even if no one notices it but yourself.

As for true love, don’t worry, he will come. He’s more than an average guy. He’s a very loving man who will never stop thinking of you. To him, you are the most beautiful in this entire world, whether you wear something glamorous or are a beautiful mess.

As for thinking that you’re not enough, you might not be for most individuals. Others, you are more than. And that is alright. For yourself, it’s okay that you don’t have everything figured out, or have the perfect scale of any side you fully believe in.

You’re where you need to be, and you do have a purpose in this life: enough and yet growing.