I always felt misunderstood
Being the black sheep of the family or the escape goat
I knew the dynamic wasn’t healthy but i couldn’t verbalize it
I would just lash out because of it ,
whenever i felt overwhelmed i would lash out again
Cursing out someone ,hurting someones feelings because my feelings were hurt
Not knowing maybe they didn’t know how to use their own words
Sometimes its a cycle and they didn’t question things , they just continued the behavior
How sometimes family members felt like strangers
For the longest time i didn’t feel emotionally safe i was always in danger
Not from physical harm but by verbal hard and those words i would use back were razor sharp
Over the years of going to therapy along with maturing and taking psychology i started to see
Alot of this behavior was learned and gone through generations
Well it stops with me even if its the end of me it will stop with me
No longer the villain now as my siblings got older they understood the method to my madness
All the moments as when they were kids they did not get until they grew up and started to get it
The villain was the hero all along
I started to establish and enforce boundaries and it has been what has saved my sanity
Also has saved my family , we have along way to go but we have come so far
Now with the education and emotional maturity i can sit down and have conversations to be heard and understood
Even if we agree to disagree that’s fine with me
No longer yelling or saying anything to intentionally hurt someones feelings
We are closer because of it
Love your “misunderstood” son ,brother ,grandson , nephew ,friend
Isaac