You’re a beautiful soul who’s always been enough for me.
Always happy-go-lucky, free-spirited and carefree.

What I love the most about you is that you’re a part of me!
Full of love, light and laughter, you taught me how to be free.

You have the biggest heart and you love unconditionally.
Always handling others with care, oh so intentionally.

I wouldn’t be who I am today without you!
You’ve always pushed me to make my dreams come true.

Thank you for always making sure I never feel alone.
You’ve always been my safe space, with you I am home.

Watching you struggle was hard, you’re the strongest little girl I know.
You’ve always adapted to change and left room to grow.

You’ve shown me that I can survive anything, no matter what comes my way.
You taught me how to love myself, even on my worst day.

I’m proud of you kiddo, you’re my biggest blessing.
Never show your hand and always keep em’ guessing.

You’ll always have a friend in me and I promise to remain true.
Words alone can’t explain how much I love you.

Dear Little Blue,

Since others won’t, I’ll tell you what I love most about you. I love your kind soul, your gentle demeanor and your willingness to see past anyone’s flaws and still love them with your whole self. Don’t ever lose that. Even though, in this lifetime, you will experience pain that no one should have to, I love how you pick up and turn it into determination to move forward. I love your imagination, the way you play, the things you come up with to make your Barbie dolls say. You know some kind of maturity that most of your peers won’t know for many, many years. Let that guide you far ahead in life, sweet girl. I love that even though you don’t always feel so great about yourself, you never hesitate to tell others how great they are, how beautiful they are inside and out. That soul of yours is golden, my girl. Don’t torment yourself with the what-ifs and the unsaid. I love how much you love things! I love that when you find something you enjoy, you throw yourself into it fully and completely, no matter what others think of it. There’s not a twinge of shyness about it, no shame, only a sincere desire to enjoy things for you and only you. You also enjoy encouraging others to do the same, which I think is so important. I love all the good in you, little blue. I love your slightly over-bitten smile from a little too long an affair with your pacifier. Which brings me to your stubbornness. Many people would see how you stand your ground as a bad thing, labeling you a brat. For me, I love that you don’t let people walk all over you. I love that you scream and shout your beliefs and stand up for what you believe in, even if it’s not the most popular thing among the people in your life. I love the way you love, your tight hugs and lingering to-the-cheek kisses. You hold on extra tight because you always want to be sure that person knows just how much you love them while we’re all still on earthside. So run, my dear, spin in circles in the front yard until your light-up Skechers are the only things shining brighter than the stars. Hug Daddy tight and kiss him good night. Snuggle under your favorite princess blanket and shut your eyes, only having the sweetest dreams play behind them. You’ve got a strong head on your shoulders, baby. Never give up. I love you always.

Love, and always looking out for you,
Big Blue

Little bird,
I like your hair.
Little bird,
I like your smile.
Little bird,
I like your singing.
Little bird,
I like your mind.
Little bird,
I like your jokes.
Little bird,
I know you would prefer if I loved these things about you, and on some level, I do.

But there’s a quality that I love the most.
I’ll give you a hint.
Mom says you need to change it,
And others make fun of you for it.
No, it’s not your weight.
No, it’s not the way you talk.
No, it’s not your curly hair.
Little bird, it’s your heart.

It’s so big and ready to share with anyone who needs it.
I know it’s hard now because you get hurt very easily, but little bird, your heart is special. It’s your heart that made me who I am today, not your hair.
It’s your heart that tells me what to do, not your mind.
It’s your heart that makes me try to do better, not your singing or your jokes.
It’s your heart that gives to others still, not your smile but it helps.

Everything I listed is a byproduct of your heart. They are the things that make you who you are, and the things that we are not.

So don’t worry about what people like
Because I love the way you love the world and everybody in it.

Come dragonslayer, sword in hand
The white billowing fields call
Verdant hills across azure land
Be prepared, do not fall.

The clouds are black here
The misery is deep
Love yourself,
You approach the soul’s keep.

The crimson lightning strikes the sky
The end of the world is nigh
The dragon lashes, the beast strikes
Swing your sword with all your might.

A rain falls suddenly, like chromatic sand
Volpant crystals, nezerinian gems, gazerbanian bjands.
Things are stranger in this distant land.
You’ve reached the other side, you’ve done it, you’ve won.

And yet little dragonslayer, your journey has just begun.

Dear brown skin Girl! There’s so much I want to say! So much I want to tell you, but let me start off by saying thank you ☺️ Thank you for getting us so far. I wish I could say you were a care free child but that is far away from the truth. Since the age of 7 you’ve had the weight of the world on your shoulders, taking care of your siblings and being the rock of your family. You took beatings, mean and awful words. Even those demons sneaking into your room stripping you of everything good. Or so they thought.
You were told you weren’t good enough, and you’ll never amount to anything. They stole, your innocence and identity. But they couldn’t steal your faith.
You became fierce and fearless, the worse of the worse was already done, you’ve already walked through the ashes of the fires they set, trying to burn you alive you made it to the other side. You wandered this world alone, and I mean alone, looking for a place called home. Never ever finding that. And in the mist of the shadows you bow your head and asked God for the strength to carry on. You kept the hope, and you kept the faith. So You kept going, even when the roads went dark, You saw the light, there was no place for fear, you were all you had to bare. To bare the pain, and the shame! You were the only one who cared. You took on the pain of the world. You Lived a life full of survival not scared of the road ahead because you knew if you could make it through the fires of hell set by the ones you loved and the ones meant to love you, there was nothing in this world that could break you. You are set free of that burden, you made it! You made it home, you became the mother you never had, and the voice of many. Your job is done that fearless little girl can now rest, and let the women you created handle the rest. You did your best, and past the test. Even if we don’t win this contest, we’ve won something far greater a chance to be the phenomenal

Oh little one,
If you only knew;
If you only knew the love that was out there for you;
If only you could see the beauty the world holds for you;
The beauty the was forged through these flames.
That your empathy and sensitivity would one day be celebrated instead of shamed;
That you will be admired for expressing for everything you were taught to suppress.
Oh little one,
If only you knew;
If you only knew I the magic you hold inside of you.
The divine protection that surrounds you.
That your capacity for love will be your greatest strength.
If only you knew the amount of people you will inspire along the dark and weary road;
That all of your dreams in life were true visions of God;
Oh sweet child,
If you only knew.

Challenge: Letter to My Younger Self

I love the way you always held the hands of others. How you always stopped to help.

I love the kindness you held in your heart although you knew very little.

I love how overjoyed you get over the small things in life. As I still do to this day.

The sun, the moon, the stars, puppies, and my favorite cookies. We have always loved the same things. Thank you for not letting me forget.

I have carried you with me and kept you alive, for you know what true joy feels like.

I did it for you and you would have been so proud to know I am the woman you always needed.

I protect those I love with grace, fierceness, and understanding, the way you should have been loved.

Our daughter will grow up to know the feel of the wind on her face and her mama’s abundant kisses not the cold hand of man. Not the harsh screams and cold words of a mother.

My child will only know that home is her safe place filled with safe people. Thanks to you, you never once gave up. You are so strong and so brave.

In this new life, bruises, tears, and lies are replaced with baked goods, laughs, and stories around the campfire. Every time I look at the stars I think of you.

We made it. I have not forgotten where I came from, but we made it. We have our little cottage in the woods, just like Ms. Honey like we always wanted. We only go where we are celebrated and we celebrate others.

It has not been easy and we have journeyed far down many dark roads, sometimes alone. Sometimes we were fortunate to have others holding our hand.

To know great light means you have known great darkness. For you may rest now the darkness is over.

Thank you for holding my hand through my journey to becoming the woman I always needed. The woman I always wanted to be. A woman who loves life and herself. Thank you for always believing in me.

I remember you with joy and wonder. I still carry you with me as we enjoy the awe of this world. Our future is bright, shrouded in darkness no more.

Growing up I was always the odd and different kid from top to bottom, from inside and out nothing about me was able to blend in. I can remember memories from as young as 6 on the playground and other little girls would say “Why do you sound like that?” I was a very soft-spoken kid who had medical issues that I was overcoming. With all of that being said plus growing up rural where it’s not many options to just up and change schools I had to develop grit and a sense of self very early. Sometimes I would cry kids didn’t want to be my friend I thought I was weird I was not! Every day before I even knew what affirmations were I would look at myself and find something to love about me I dived into myself and discovered all of my hidden talents. What I love about myself self as a child that I carry as my inner child today is that there is only one YOU. And you can either hate yourself or love yourself, I chose love. I choose peace and happiness every day and I will instill these same positive beliefs in my children. I love that I never judged other kids I carry that trait with me to this day I’m aware of the danger but I never judge a book by its cover because I know what that feels like firsthand. My inner child is a patient and gentle spirit who was and will always be there for the people she loves but most importantly herself. That’s what I love about my inner child, she is still alive after all we’ve been through.

Dearest little one,

Please forgive me for taking so long to see you, feel you, and acknowledge you. There never has, and never will be, anything more important than our bond, our love.

Your perseverance has me in awe. You stood resolute in the face of countless situations no child should have to, moving through them in the best way you knew how. I am honored that your strength led to where I am now. Thank you for your bravery and resilience to continue forward, no matter what transpired.

Your love of learning and desire to help people have blossomed over the years, and I hope you’re proud of who we’ve become and the path we’re on, striving to amplify those traits. We’ve seen a lot and learned even more. I can’t wait to share this next phase of our journey with you, and that we can walk hand in hand into the ocean of possibilities together.

We’re going to love life more, play with abandon, and exist in our truth of being safe and protected by those who love us. This is going to be an adventure beyond our wildest imaginings.

I promise to never leave you on your own again, and to share this miraculous life with you like I never have before.

I love you infinitely, in this life and any others.

Thank you for walking this life with me, my sweet child.

Your resilience inspires me.
I can’t change what happened to you,
and part of me is scared to think of who you could have been.
Where would that leave me today?
So instead, I leave you with this:
You are enough.

Dear sweet child Erin,

I love the way you wake up cheery-eyed, guns a-blazing, ready to bring your light into an often dark world.



I love your big heart and kind soul, your silly playfulness and your desire to explore.



I love your love of dogs, trampolines, bunny rabbits, and bike rides.



I love the way you love!



But most of all, I love your sensitivity. 



The way you see and take in the world is different, sweet one. It’s a beautiful gift, and sometimes, it may feel like too much.

YOU may feel like too much. 



Lights, sounds, and smells can be overwhelming. Your emotions feel – and usually are – bigger than most people’s. And being in a family of flat, grey beings doesn’t give you the best environment to thrive.

You’ll realize as you grow older that being sensitive in this world can be grueling, exhausting even. You’ll learn to tamper down your wonderful gift of sensitivity to fit in with your family, your friends. And that means, along the way, you’ll begin to dampen your own light as well.



But over time, you’ll find your way back. You’ll rediscover the incredible power of being a sensitive soul here on this earth.

You’ll give yourself permission to be wild, messy, free. And that scares a lot of people, my sweet girl! So, please do not back down and don’t you dare dim your light.



Continue finding your way back to your wild, sensitive heart. Allow her to guide you because you and I both know — your path won’t be ordinary.



Dream big! And please, little Erin, spread your rainbow light as big as Condor wings.



I love you and I’m so thrilled to spend this lifetime playing by your side.



Love,

37-year-old Erin



Beloved I’m writing this letter to you
Again we meet paper to paper and ink to ink
I hope this letter finds you like all the rest
Although you were mistreated by your peers
You still rose above it like a phoenix
gracefully like a lotus flower

When you gave pearls to swine you didn’t flinch
or feel the need to match their energy
You’re endless resilience is what I have
I love that most about you
There is a fire inside me that
It’sbeing held by your petitie hands
I am grateful

You’ve taught me valuable lessons through your innocence
In a world ran by wolves you remained soft untouched by it’s agressions
You never allowed those with tainted hearts to darken your spirit
Instead you remained solid and even brighter as the days go on

The sun is jealous of you illuminate those around you with your joy
The stars that hang in the ebony skies are left dumbfounded by your beauty
You’re love for all things good which sparks a profound curiosity
and childlike wonder is what I cherish about you
May you never loose your wonder

Remember how fearless you were?
You danced without a care in the of those watching you.
You voiced an opinion without cracking your words in between.
Remember how fearless you were?
Standing your ground, not caring if you seem like a fool.
You were always running with determined speed, feeling the cool breeze beneath your arms and the freedom of your feet dashing through the town.
Remember how fearless you were?
Filling up your soul by singing to your heart’s delight.
Always bring a smile to others with your silly jokes and portray imitations.
I loved you then and love you now. I miss that little girl within…
Bring her back soon before you forget how fearless you once were.

Young and wise
With a curious mind
Always searching to find
A truth you hold inside
Shining bright
In dark spaces
Transmuting complicated situations
How powerful you are
But you do not see
The beauty of your soul
And all you can be
An alchemist
Never a pessimist
A dreamer
Despite non believers

One day the little girl gets older
She reads books, sees the news, experiences life
and learns that everything she once thought was truth
is a lie
She doesn’t need to hold her tongue to keep the peace
She doesn’t need to prove her worth amongst the men
She is the storm
And she knows it.

Easier said than done.
But you always did it!
Breaking free from the need to seek external validation is analogous to being on the path to Nirvana . It is demanding and calls for GOD-like mental grit and clarity.
But you always followed that path.
People pleasers are ubiquitous, self lovers are sporadic. The urge to please is perpetual.
It is also tiring, a process whose side effects are short lived and almost always unrequited.
Self love can seem like a monster.It is intimidating, misunderstood and grossly underrated.
Loving oneself knows no one sided failures.The feeling is always giving,reciprocating,caring and enriching.
I admire you for always knowing all this and loving yourself.
You were never afraid to lose your inhibitions and let your guard down.
You always cut youself some slack.
You were enough…And all you ever needed.
You never stressed the what should haves. If it should have, it would have!
You were not afraid to embrace the jitters in your knees and shout out loud from the rooftops for the world to hear and envy.
“To love and cherish myself unto death” proclaiming undying, unabashed love and loyalty to youself.
You let the warm, fuzzy feeling of self love flood your inner being. If it overflowed and few lucky wandered in its trajectory, good for them!
As for the others, you always let them go as that love just wasn’t meant to be..

To that little girl who loved barbies,
Bright sunshine and cake,
Climbing tress and swimming
All day in the lake.

To the girl who always saw the best,
In everyone she loved.
Made homemade birthday cards,
And gave the tightest, warmest hugs.

To the girl who just wanted to see the world sparkle,
But was often left in a place harshly dull.
To the girl who deserved nothing but love,
Recieved and paid for, in full.

You did the best with what you were given.
Lord knows you weren’t given very much.
But I am SO proud of you today,
Proud of your unwavering grit and trust.

You have faith that moves mountains,
And a determination to conquer every single one of your dreams.
That’s who you’ve ALWAYS been,
I know, because that girl
Is Me

Sweet and gentle desert rose
Not knowing anything different
Growing through the toughest environments
As the memories become distant

You rooted yourself in curiosity and love
Watered with compassion
While the drought of doubt came in waves of emotions
You stood tall and pulled through the depression.

For you were young to have such horrible things done
Who could do that to their own child?
You took that rain from their desert storms
And used it to grow wild

As years have passed
Now I am a mother,
I use what you have taught
To gently lead my mini rose through the desert full of drought

For, life is hard
The land is dry
The summers here are brutal
But know how to wait for rain and embrace dancing in the puddles.