Growing up I was always the odd and different kid from top to bottom, from inside and out nothing about me was able to blend in. I can remember memories from as young as 6 on the playground and other little girls would say “Why do you sound like that?” I was a very soft-spoken kid who had medical issues that I was overcoming. With all of that being said plus growing up rural where it’s not many options to just up and change schools I had to develop grit and a sense of self very early. Sometimes I would cry kids didn’t want to be my friend I thought I was weird I was not! Every day before I even knew what affirmations were I would look at myself and find something to love about me I dived into myself and discovered all of my hidden talents. What I love about myself self as a child that I carry as my inner child today is that there is only one YOU. And you can either hate yourself or love yourself, I chose love. I choose peace and happiness every day and I will instill these same positive beliefs in my children. I love that I never judged other kids I carry that trait with me to this day I’m aware of the danger but I never judge a book by its cover because I know what that feels like firsthand. My inner child is a patient and gentle spirit who was and will always be there for the people she loves but most importantly herself. That’s what I love about my inner child, she is still alive after all we’ve been through.

Remember how fearless you were?
You danced without a care in the of those watching you.
You voiced an opinion without cracking your words in between.
Remember how fearless you were?
Standing your ground, not caring if you seem like a fool.
You were always running with determined speed, feeling the cool breeze beneath your arms and the freedom of your feet dashing through the town.
Remember how fearless you were?
Filling up your soul by singing to your heart’s delight.
Always bring a smile to others with your silly jokes and portray imitations.
I loved you then and love you now. I miss that little girl within…
Bring her back soon before you forget how fearless you once were.

Young and wise
With a curious mind
Always searching to find
A truth you hold inside
Shining bright
In dark spaces
Transmuting complicated situations
How powerful you are
But you do not see
The beauty of your soul
And all you can be
An alchemist
Never a pessimist
A dreamer
Despite non believers

Little Bean Little Bean
I gots something to tells ya,
Little bean
It amazes me and leaves me in awe just how you light up a room
How you’re unapologetic for the swift cotton candy filled presence you bring
the attention you command
the hope you give bouncing off
the light you have within
little bean
little bean
you’re a wonder
oh how
I sit an awe, admiring you
you twirl with the winds
dance in the sun,
laugh in the rain,
play with the moon
weeds tried to end the seed planted
& upon suns rising you grabbed life and said
I won
Took off running
galaxies joined you
you stood up to the bullies
danced through it all
you sang your heart out
never cried when you fall
as if the Gods kissed you
the skies guided you
you created
what life needed
the missing peace
the yin to the yang
everywhere you placed your feet
Little bean
you’re a wonder
with a laugh like gardens
a soul of peonies
you turned
even the ugliest of things
into beauty
The beacon of hope you are
and were
A miracle and a sign
the empathetic star
I love everything about you
especially how unique you are
You are one of One
There is no other one.
Little Bean
I love everything about you
The Bold Miracle!
you defeated the odds
to give life what it was missing
you are the something beautiful
to every missing earth
You know what Little bean
You are heaven on Earth!

Easier said than done.
But you always did it!
Breaking free from the need to seek external validation is analogous to being on the path to Nirvana . It is demanding and calls for GOD-like mental grit and clarity.
But you always followed that path.
People pleasers are ubiquitous, self lovers are sporadic. The urge to please is perpetual.
It is also tiring, a process whose side effects are short lived and almost always unrequited.
Self love can seem like a monster.It is intimidating, misunderstood and grossly underrated.
Loving oneself knows no one sided failures.The feeling is always giving,reciprocating,caring and enriching.
I admire you for always knowing all this and loving yourself.
You were never afraid to lose your inhibitions and let your guard down.
You always cut youself some slack.
You were enough…And all you ever needed.
You never stressed the what should haves. If it should have, it would have!
You were not afraid to embrace the jitters in your knees and shout out loud from the rooftops for the world to hear and envy.
“To love and cherish myself unto death” proclaiming undying, unabashed love and loyalty to youself.
You let the warm, fuzzy feeling of self love flood your inner being. If it overflowed and few lucky wandered in its trajectory, good for them!
As for the others, you always let them go as that love just wasn’t meant to be..

To that little girl who loved barbies,
Bright sunshine and cake,
Climbing tress and swimming
All day in the lake.

To the girl who always saw the best,
In everyone she loved.
Made homemade birthday cards,
And gave the tightest, warmest hugs.

To the girl who just wanted to see the world sparkle,
But was often left in a place harshly dull.
To the girl who deserved nothing but love,
Recieved and paid for, in full.

You did the best with what you were given.
Lord knows you weren’t given very much.
But I am SO proud of you today,
Proud of your unwavering grit and trust.

You have faith that moves mountains,
And a determination to conquer every single one of your dreams.
That’s who you’ve ALWAYS been,
I know, because that girl
Is Me

To Little Emmers

In a world where dreams ignite,
Hold onto magic, shining bright.
Don’t let anyone dim your light,
Embrace your uniqueness, take flight.

Friendships may ebb and flow,
But true connections will grow.
In the pages of books, find solace and grace,
Let their wisdom guide your embrace.

Challenges and heartache may appear,
But remember, my dear, you’re never alone, my dear.
The worlds within those stories hold profound might,
They’ll teach you lessons beyond your sight.

Keep reading, keep learning, and let your mind expand,
For surprises await, just around the bend.
Like a magician, weave your spells,
Embrace the unknown, break free from your shell.

Though the future remains veiled,
Know that magic and wonder will never be curtailed.
You, dear Emmers, have the power to transform,
Your worth is immeasurable, like a precious charm.

So never lose that spark, that creative fire,
For it will guide you higher and higher.
People may disappoint, but don’t let them define,
For amidst the shadows, true friendships will shine.

Remember, Little Emmers, you’re not alone,
In this journey of life, you’ll find your own.
Trust in magic, let your imagination soar,
For in your heart, true wonders forever adore.

With love,
Your Future Self