Hello younger Glenn, as an adult, I think about the time you are having and all the exciting opportunities that have presented themselves or will be in the coming years. I know that you feel like life has been challenging at a young age and that you have tackled most of your problems, but I am here to tell you that plenty of challenges lie ahead that are difficult and some that are fun. I am proud of the man that you and I have become. A lot of that is thanks to our parents and the upbringing they sacrificed to provide for you and our brother, Michael.
To say that life gets easier would be a lie. Naturally, as you get older, you will have bigger decisions that have a larger impact on your life. The fun will be had with both family and friends but overcoming challenges will be looked upon with similar fondness.
Right now, you have a lot of thoughts that trouble you and cause anxiety. The expectations that you have for yourself and what type of person you would like to become are heavy and I sympathize thinking back to that time. Growing up is not easy and throughout the evolution of society, doctors have focused more on the anxiety that you feel right now. Struggling with thoughts that take up your attention for days and distract you from life is something that occurs daily for you, but I am here to provide you with some relief. As we got older, the intrusive thoughts that caused depression and anxiety have been controlled.
Every dream and goal that your thoughts deviated from, can be conquered and reached as you grow older with the help of family, friends, medicine, and doctors. Life was a constant struggle with battling OCD and focusing only on your thoughts. It is something that never goes away completely, but we have overcome the thoughts to live life more freely and pursue the dreams that should have dominated our minds instead of struggling with thoughts that brought us down at times.
The struggle was strong enough for me to get help from a professional who helped me develop the tools to battle with our struggles. The medicine was the final piece of the puzzle that allowed me to grow and become a baseball coach, a husband, and best of all, a father. The fears of not being worthy to be a husband and start a family are forgotten and the focus can be on your wonderful life.
Besides being a father, this was the biggest challenge of my life to this point, and it brings me to tears to tell you that help is on the way and that this is one challenge that we can beat. It is a challenge that has been won but continues with a bigger army behind us.

It is hard to pinpoint one turning point in my life for a father of two beautiful, young children and a husband for almost 10 years of marriage. I have been blessed to be surrounded by many wonderful people who have helped me achieve many goals in my life. Meeting my wife, Elizabeth, was the absolute turning point in my life. Now it is not uncommon for any husband or wife to credit their spouse for good and bad. Sure, my wife is a big reason my dream of starting a family came to fruition and she has been a strong support for me to follow my dreams. But with all the wonderful achievements we have been able to accomplish, one precise decision allowed me to have a chance at all that I have accomplished and will be able to fulfill in my life.

As a child growing into a young adult, I had a wild imagination that, as I grew, became a constant voice in my head. I would always be told that I was “overthinking” things or “looking into” things too much. I began focusing on anxious thoughts that would keep me occupied for days, weeks, and months at a time. All the while, I was living the “best” years of my life, from what I was told. I pursued love quite a few times and was involved in many relationships throughout high school and college. One common problem was negatively “thinking too much” and worrying about the worst scenarios. In some cases, I felt that I was not deserving of happiness. Unfortunately, some of the people I dated, without relation to my negative thoughts, turned out not to be the right fit, to put it kindly.

These failed relationships only strengthened the thoughts of being unworthy of love or even worse being a terrible person. This continued into post-college life and for the most part, became an annoyance or obsession at times before I could move forward and focus on real life. As time passed, I moved out of my parent’s house and had a full-time job, but I had stayed single for the most part, fearing that I would somehow mess up my life before I met “the one”.

I worked with my wife at an oil company soon after graduating college and was involved in a long-term relationship, as was she at the time. Being a beautiful, kind person of the opposite sex, I kept her in mind when I moved on to another job and eventually separated from my relationship. I recruited Elizabeth to my new company, and we ended up working together for a few years before by chance, we were both single and attracted to one another.

Because I had thought about her being the one for me for quite some time while it was developing into a relationship, I had struggling thoughts of why this would not work and how I was almost living a lie, and once she got to know me, it would be over. Due to these thoughts eating at me and exhausting me, I started to almost test Elizabeth with little thoughts and facts to see if she would still be interested in me. This became an unhealthy outlet as I felt that if I spit out every negative thought I had and she happened to stay, it exonerated me from the anxiety and further thoughts. Sadly, this was not true. My thoughts would put me on trial day in and day out. I would be finding reasons that I was not worthy, or a horrible person. Despite facts, I would question myself and past decisions to the point that I was on the witness stand of my trial. My life would seem to pass me by as I was going through my personal court trial with memories and examples of why I could be horrible or not. My hell would subside after days until the next thought brought me to another “trial”.

Finally, my bride-to-be brought up OCD and how it can be treated through therapy and medication. I was skeptical as my brother would wash his hands repeatedly, which I considered the classic OCD characteristic, other than tapping objects and counting. I figured I was an anxious person and how could anything change my thought process, even medication? I was embarrassed to share my deep, dark secrets with a stranger. What if they judged me?

Well, my new addiction of spitting out what came to my mind to Elizabeth created an inevitable problem with our relationship. She strongly encouraged me to try therapy and I trusted her opinion. I also wanted to do whatever I could to make myself and our relationship better. Taking the plunge, like a roller coaster, I was riding the highs and lows of diving into my now-diagnosed OCD. Understanding this was a process, I kept up with for years and even expanded to medication with the encouragement of my therapist and none other than my now fiancé. No relationship is easy or perfect and just because I was getting help didn’t mean the problem was over or the damage was repaired.

The journey of living a better life began at that time and continues to this day as I have improved amazingly since but always must keep working to improve and battle through any hard times. I was able to focus on the things that mattered in my life, and it saw my career develop and some dreams followed. Ultimately none of my ambitions or family could have been achieved without the strong push to take care of myself. I have the confidence in myself to achieve anything and more importantly, pass it along to my children so that they never have to feel alone in their thoughts.

I have learned to understand past negative thoughts and anxiety while trying to prevent or prepare for future ones. My family is my life and a better me makes them better as well. Every person has their conflicts in life, but it is hard to understand that help can be achieved. If I had not met my wife, I would not have taken the step towards helping myself. As a result, I would not have my beautiful children and wife, not to mention the happiness I have found in all things in life. I could not imagine continuing to live on the path I had set for myself before therapy and medication.