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  • aoking submitted a contest entry to Group logo of What are your goals for the new year?What are your goals for the new year? 1 month, 1 week ago

    Nothing

    was my resolution for this year,
    at least the most public-facing
    awkward disheartening and uninspiring
    response, painfully clipped for the
    question that I dreaded
    and hoped to avoid.
    Giving glitz to my hopefully mundane Monday
    sitting in my dad’s living room
    for the only holiday we promised to him year after year
    secretly too excited for the celebratory sips…
    and every one in-between
    Listening to his fiancée excitedly answer
    this question for herself with pristine palatable promise
    teaching her graduate classes staying true to herself
    and making measurable progress
    I…was desperately shying away from this year.
    Cowering in the reality of all the
    time that had passed. Running from the
    truth that now another graduating class
    could toast its glass
    and the word “just” had to retire in a tired slink
    before I scramble to explain the limbo
    of “What’s going on with me?”
    Lagging, lacking, looking
    I was supposed to, so supposedly set up for
    so much, so many saw and swore I’d soar
    like the bubbles in my drink
    Now nothing.
    While I dared not utter it
    and draw attention to my unimpressive flailing
    My true hope for this year, was for an end to the waiting
    To begin my life and actual Post-Grad Living and
    wake up excited instead of no more than
    at peace with how I’m living,
    with kind of valid work connected
    somewhat to what I enjoy doing
    To be able to picture the future. Being able to see something
    Sometimes it feels like it symbolizes no
    longer existing
    But this year I will walk away certified
    learn the law of language and the art of icing
    and placate the inner child
    who sought peace these last few months
    In the most mundane of things,
    an opportunity to dress in costume,
    a sip of boba tea, the chorus of a musical piece
    My goal for this year is to see the other end
    to thrive, reminisce on the strife and how impatient
    I was for a change in my life
    chuckle lightly about my dramatic theatrics
    And relish in the fact that after all,
    I survived

    Voting starts March 15, 2024 12:00am

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    • First things first, this is well-written! It’s a great piece! Secondly, it sounds like you are really hard on yourself. I can tell because I am the same way. You don’t need to figure out your whole life right away. Take one day at a time. Be patient with yourself. Sometimes you got to go after what you want and other times you have to be a little patient and see where life takes you. You think you are surviving but I believe you are probably doing much more than that and have plenty of reasons to hold your head up high as you take on this year. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed community. <3 Lauren

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    • First things first, this is well-written! It’s a great piece! Secondly, it sounds like you are really hard on yourself. I can tell because I am the same way. You don’t need to figure out your whole life right away. Take one day at a time. Be patient with yourself. Sometimes you got to go after what you want and other times you have to be a little patient and see where life takes you. You think you are surviving but I believe you are probably doing much more than that and have plenty of reasons to hold your head up high as you take on this year. Thank you for sharing and thank you for being part of The Unsealed community. <3 Lauren

      Write me back 

      Subscribe  or  log in to reply

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