Dear past me, old me, whatever we want to call you. I know how lonely you feel. Trapped in this toxic relationship that has beaten you down where only her needs matter and you are worthless. Lost in where your path of life has gone or what it has become. You fog up your mind all day, every day, to run away from how you feel. You’re always searching for your next fog to creep in to disguise all of those feelings of anguish, despair, worthlessness, and loneliness. Put the lighter down. Pour that toxic waste down the drain. Leave that girl behind. I know you’re scared because you do not know who you are. I want to give you the hope you’ve been holding onto by a thread and tell you, that will change. You won’t have to down those pills to escape the control of that immature monster who you thought you could trust. I do not regret what you are doing. I do not feel guilt or shame either. What you are going through and what you are doing has made me who I am today. I miss those two boys you consider brothers, especially the nights you put the little boy to bed because he asks for you and later staying up all night playing Batman or Left4Dead on the Xbox with the older boy. I miss the fun times when you go on car rides late at night after drowning yourself in liquid poison or take those disgusting, magical mushrooms and you’re happy because of the relief of not worrying about doing or saying the wrong thing around her. And I miss the genuine people who are unfortunately under her manipulation. But it is out of my control now. I do have one wish, and I don’t think it will ever go away. I wish you would have escaped sooner. I don’t blame you, you don’t see it. But now that I have, I just wish you didn’t wait.
Love you,
me.

My style score: 100%