Dear Thailand, this is a love letter.

Ten years ago, you were my first. 

My first plane ride.
My first international trip.
My first passport stamp.
My first experience as a “foreigner”.
My first home away from home.

Ten years ago, you were my first safe space.

Now I’m in my 30’s and the pressures of society continue to try to shrink my wander and make me “fit”, still I crave her wild.

Ten years ago, I was young, naïve, and humbled by my lack of knowledge. After spending hours with Maya Angelou’s works like “All God’s Children Need Traveling Shoes” and “The Heart of a Woman”, I became inspired to travel the world. At first, I wanted to travel to Cairo or any African country with a study abroad program offered by my Historically Black University (HBCU), Norfolk State University. However, all the programs I aimed for were far too expensive, (even with my current FAFSA). Then, my study abroad advisor introduced me to Salaya, Thailand.

Thailand?

I didn’t have any prior knowledge of Thailand outside of glimpses on the travel channels. Luckily, my study abroad advisor was a heavy-set, red lip wearing, well-travelled, Black woman. She was raising two Black sons with dual citizenship in the U.S. and Japan. This allowed me to settle into safety during our conversations given the thought of travelling solo to Thailand, under the encouragement and guidance of my well-travelled-Black-Woman-study abroad advisor. 

I felt safe enough to give her the green light to sign me up to study communication arts at Mahidol University International College (MUIC). I travelled 8,892 miles away and spent my time on the lush green campus of MUIC. However, it didn’t take me long to realize that university was just as much of a privilege here as it was in the States. 

Still, I miss the outdoor campus environment. I miss the coffee shops where I could sit and connect with fellow study abroad students. I miss the vast libraries filled with books I couldn’t read. I miss meeting up with friends to get cheap massages across the street from Uni. I miss the weekly markets on campus with fresh mangos, rambutan and handmade items like notebooks, stationary and handbags. 

Some may visit Thailand and miss the natural landscapes, the food, and the bustling markets, but I miss feeling safe as a young, Black traveler in her 20’s with long box braids, basic Thai speaking skills and a few Bhat for shopping and a tuk-tuk ride home. 

Home, at this time, was a boarding style house with shared living spaces, crappy Wi-Fi and about 20 international female students at any given time. Needless to say, I spent a lot of time at coffee shops in Salaya. 

Still, I felt safe. 

I felt safe enough to wander around the JJ market my first week in Thailand, (before starting university). I felt safe enough to chat up a Thai woman shop owner about travel and womanhood and later connect with her on Facebook, (because little did I know then that I would have to create a documentary project for class and she would be the perfect Muse). After getting out of my head about how weird it may be that I found her on Facebook and am now asking her to be in a documentary for a school project, I was surprised at how quickly she responded and we arranged a meeting at a McDonalds in the city. 

I travelled over an hour by bus to Bangkok from Salaya and my Muse, took me through parts of Thailand I would’ve never explored on my own. She introduced me to her cohort of women who worked on crafts. She took me to her manufacturing shops where she got her fabrics and she invited me to her vibrant green home, (that was damaged by the 2011 flooding, but still looked so beautiful and serene).

“Recrafting Life” was a student documentary about a Thai Woman entrepreneur who supported women in her community by creating jobs through crafts after the 2011 floods.

Ten years later, you are my torturer and my dream. As America’s latest electors highlight their fragility and insecurity by attempting to, again, erase us, our history, our excellence and resilience in this country, I’m reminded to reframe what freedom means to me. 

Freedom is the remembrance of all who fought, died and lived in brutal silence for me to pursue my talents, my gifts and my Wander. 

I can still hear her gentle words in my ear every time I get fed up with the hustle and bustle of the American Dream… “Stay wild, life is here… like Buddha says, everything is nothing.” 

Thank you Thailand,

With love,