Dear Billings, Montana,

My new home. The city I have grown to love over the past two years.

I had never even considered your existence. A phone call in March 2023 revealed to me that the Bible college that had accepted me was relocating there. Therefore, I, too, was moving there.

You were a city to which I had never been. Still, I spent two days driving across the country towards you, experiencing a myriad of emotions: relief, sadness, fear, apprehension, anxiety, anticipation, excitement, to name a few.

You were the city I drove toward, knowing there wasn’t a single person there who knew of my existence. Strangely enough, the thought relieved me more than I would have imagined. Driving toward you, I felt the heavy blanket of sadness for all I was leaving behind, yet knew I needed the change. You were the light at the end of the dark tunnel that was 2022. You offered the hope of a comforting change.

You were the city I drove toward, facing the fear of the future as I apprehensively pondered the uncertainty of a new start. A new start for a burnt-out teacher, taking a year to be a student again herself. I drove on as the anxiety crept in, as it often does. Would Bible college be everything I was hoping it would be? Could I make any friends? Would I find a job? Were the Montana mountains really greener, or would I feel alone as I did in Oklahoma?

And you were the city I drove toward, full of anticipation and excitement for the major life change I was making. For the first time in years, I felt optimistic, as though my life was about to be better. This hopeful yearning was enough to drown out the fears and anxiety. Beyond ready for a new adventure, all I desired was to blend in with the other students, focus on God, and heal in peace.

I’ll never forget the moment I crossed over the Montana state line on August 21, 2023. I felt a weight lift from my shoulders as I admired the mountains on either side of the road. When I saw your sign, I knew I was almost there, almost to you, my new beginning. The word ‘Billings’ promised much at that moment.

In your city, I started tutoring college students in writing during my studies. This caused me not to blend in (as I’d planned), but to stand out to professors. You were the city where I became an adjunct writing professor (something I had dreamed of for 10 years) under the mentorship of the most talented writing professor I’ve ever known.

I realized I did not want to leave you when the allotted year was coming to a close. I made you my permanent home in 2024 (at least for now). You are the city I wake up in every morning, feeling so thankful to live here. The city I’ve fallen in love with, the city that gave me back my spark. You’ve brought incredible opportunities into my life, both for my career and my personal life.

Billings, Montana. You were an inhale of fresh air for a woman who was suffocating. In your cold, thin mountain air, I finally felt as though I could breathe. To someone feeling the chill of solitude, you were a warm, comforting blanket. You were the bandage God used to mend my broken heart. You’ve brought green sparkle back to my eyes, and my laugh has returned with fervor.

Billings, Montana. My new home. I wish I had been as happy in Oklahoma as I am under your bluffs. However, I realize if I had been, I would have never driven across the country seeking the refuge of your majestic mountains.

Thank you, Billings.

—Mandi

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