Young Liz,

It’s just after midnight on our 36th birthday. I am in my now quiet living room, cleaning up the remnants of the daily chaos. Children’s toys are scattered throughout the room, art supplies are covering the table, and crumbs litter the floor. As I clean, I think of my life, and how it’s sped by. I will not lie; mid-life has snuck up on me faster than you or I ever expected it to and 40 is approaching fast. I feel like I went from a twenty-five-year-old new mom to a thirty-six-year-old mom of four in the blink of an eye. Surprise! Even though children are not in your plan right now, you end up being a mother of four children. I must tell you, it’s been the best part of your life, and you love being a mom. Anyway, the last decade has been amazing, but it feels like I lived it in fast forward.

I don’t know where the time has gone. My oldest and only son is 11 years old; growing up and acting more like a teen than a child. My second child and oldest of my 3 daughters is 8 years old and not far behind her brother. My third child, who was the baby, is already 3 years old and can argue in full sentences. My youngest has outgrown her newborn clothes and turns two months old soon. I can see myself aging when I look in the mirror, noticing gray hairs and wrinkles more often than I used to. I’m not sure if you found that first gray hair yet, but if it has not surfaced already, it will soon. I’m sorry to break that news to you.

The realization that I am 36 years old already and I have not had success in anything except maybe being a hot mess soccer mom. Yes, you are a soccer mom; a fun, happy, Suburban driving, hot mess, soccer mom. I love being a mom and would not trade it for anything, but I realize at this point in your life; you are planning on accomplishing more and having a career. You may feel disappointed that your life turns out differently from your plan, but trust it turns out the way it was supposed to. Reflecting on the past, present and future makes me think about my life, my regrets, and accomplishments. With all these thoughts and memories swirling around in my head, I am overwhelmed with emotions. Even though I feel some regret and disappointment about never having a career or being accomplished at anything society would value, I feel even more happiness and pride about being a mom.

Being a mom is difficult and undervalued so much we believe our purpose to be meaningless. Despite this feeling that my role holds little value, I know being a mom is very meaningful. I am raising four amazing kids that will be part of the future generation. How well I do my job will reflect on the people they become and how successful they will be. So far, I have been successful at raising happy, caring, smart kids. They are doing more than I ever had. My oldest child, a 5th grader, excels in soccer, academics, and maintaining friendships since preschool. My oldest daughter is caring, popular, excelling at both soccer and tumbling, and gifted in writing; she even won first place in a county-wide writing contest. My third child is a very determined, smart, and well speaking 3-year-old who already does tumbling and is starting soccer soon. I know my youngest, despite only being months old, will be just like her siblings. My kids are successful because I pour everything I have into them and their success.

 I encourage them to play sports and join clubs; take them to every practice, game, recital, and everything in between. From the sidelines, I always cheer them on. I celebrate all their wins, and comfort them after losses. I help them study and make sure they do their homework. To ensure they make friends, I take them to all the birthday parties and playdates. I do everything I can to ensure they have the best childhood I can give them. I spend most of my time with them, running them to the tumbling studio, the soccer fields, school, and playdates, and I love all of it. Raising them has given me more purpose and happiness than anything else ever has. I want them to be happy children and successful adults, so I have dedicated myself to raising them to be everything I never was. Because of all this, I should be proud of the mother I am, and you should be proud of the mother you will be.

Love,

Older Liz

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