Dear High School Jo:

I know you’re surprised that I’m calling you that–you’ve spent your entire life refusing to be Jo. You hated it so much that you gave your children names no one could chop into nicknames. And even when your younger daughter insisted on a nickname for about two weeks in second grade, it didn’t stick because she’s so much like you. Currently, that’s a lot of information, so let’s try to start small.

When you’re ready, you’ll find out who Jo is. Right now, you think she’s someone you will never be. She’s who your mother wants you to be. The lawyer, the politician. You don’t want to be Jo. Your full name is who you are. And that’s great, but be open to learning otherwise. Jo knows what she’s doing, even when it takes her a while to get there. While she would have been a brilliant lawyer, that’s not her true calling in life. Stay tuned.

If I can tell you one thing that will matter, it’s this: don’t listen to Mom. She’s your mother, obviously, but that doesn’t make her an expert on things. That takes a while to learn, but it’s important enough to reinforce it—she’s not an expert on things. She’s got problems, but you won’t realize until much later just how big they are. Great big things, like addiction and mental illness. She means well, but she doesn’t have nearly the capacity you need her to. Have empathy for her, but keep up your guard. Your sisters will be too enmeshed with her to be open-minded. Your friends will see it long before you do, so listen to them. You’ll find a way out–take it and don’t look back. And then? Only visit for a few days at a time.

Life is pretty rough right now. Your family finally found some financial stability, but the divorce is hostile, and you feel you’re in the middle. Remember that feeling–you’ll need it later. None of it is your fault; it’s never the kids’ fault–remember that, too. That will to matter when you’re a parent, but also in your professional life. You will be amazed at the people whose lives you will change just by being yourself. Because, Jo? You know how to take care of people, even when they don’t know they need it.

The other important thing: it gets better. You’ve got a lot of life to live. I won’t share all the details. Trust me, you wouldn’t believe me if I did, anyway; some of this stuff has been pretty wild. No matter what anyone tells you, high school is not the best time of your life. And that’s a good thing, since peaking at 18 leaves you an awfully long time to go downhill. College is much better. You actually make friends who will be your friends for decades to come. Grad school? Hit or miss, but you’ll learn a lot, and not just from your classes. Adult life is pretty neat, bills notwithstanding, especially once you put some geography between you and your family. They won’t like it, but they don’t have to, as long as you do. And you will.

There will still be some rough patches after high school, there’s no way around it. You will wonder how you are ever going to survive some of it. More than once, you’ll wonder if you really should survive it. But eventually, you will do more than survive—you will thrive. Once you are in the right place, with the right people around you, you will know it was worth every bit of pain and struggle.

The guy you thought would make your life better won’t matter so much in a few years. Neither will the next few. You’ll marry one of them for the wrong reasons, but even then, you’ll get some pretty amazing kids. And in your 40s, you’ll find the one that makes it worth kissing all the frogs, because he’s your prince.
When you find that one? Hold on tight. You won’t believe it’s real. But he’s real–and really, really amazing. Keep ignoring Mom. And yes, it’s still getting better.

Just trust me on the nickname thing.

Love,

2025 Jolan

ProWritingAid Style Score: 90