I was always the lover,
never the loved
Always a memory,
never the moment
Friction, but never movement
I know I was always viewed –
just never seen

I am always the touched,
but never held
The guided,
never the guide
Always the dreamer,
but never a dream come true
Needy, but never needed
I know I have always been the writer –
just never the muse

I am always a lesson,
but never the grade
The problem,
never the cause
Always a plot line,
but never the story
Asking, never asked
I know I am the waves for surf –
just never the ocean

I will likely die without anyone on this Earth
ever knowing who I truly was;
they only ever saw me for what I was not
or what I could have been instead

Because I was the friend,
but never the best friend
The itch,
never the tickle
Always worshipping,
never the worshipped
Remission, never recovery
I know I have always been listened to –
just never heard

I was always good, but never great,
always devoted, never devoted to,
admired, but never respected,
surviving, never living,
bitten, never biting
Going far, but never far enough,
wanting, never wanted,
healing, never healed,
the toad, never a frog
Never a truth, but never a lie,
loved, but never liked,
cute, never beautiful,
smart, never gifted,
a medicine, never a cure,
the muscle pain, but never the growth spurt

They won’t know what to inscribe on my tomb,
this is the legacy I am destined to leave behind:
Always understanding,
but never once in my life understood