I think I feel like I wish to swim out into the sea, past the boundary of the reef. I want to let myself swim until I exhaust myself, until my legs can no longer sustain myself, and I am forced to let go and float. I float on my back being carried and washed by the waves, pure exhaustion. I let the water drift my limp body any way it wishes. Will it drift me back to shore or out into the endless infinity of the sea? The unforgiving restless ocean, rocking its constituents, unpredictable and strong. Overpowering even. With the only hope for rescue being martyred saviors, happenstance, or the fortunate flowing back to an indeterminate shore.

I wish to swim out into the sea until I can swim no longer and see where it takes me, relinquishing control over myself and my life, and letting something else decide my fate.

Under the heat of the Dominican sun I am warmed in my soul. Salty breath and steady heart beat reminds me of the quotidian truth of inner peace. Bliss and calm, the same waves beating the sands sternly as they are meant to. I am here. I am where I ought to be. At any moment I can come back to the truth of my being which is everliving presence, awareness, stillness, and breath. The breath of life.

The sea reminds me of the possibilities.
The chaos of choice, the peace of knowing.
I rescind control, for an all-loving knowing.