Much bravery, much conceal.
The shameful life of a once teenage girl,
An innocent heart, left unguarded.
Experiences you should’ve never had to feel.
If only childhood was satisfactory and in things pure.
Too eager to live life much more mature.
I’ve contemplated time after time,
if I could go back. Press rewind.
I would save you from these heart aches,
Reroute the pain, ultimately creating even greater mistakes.
Instead for this life ado,
I won’t complain, sneer or grunt,
I will declare, I truly thank you.
For not throwing in the towel.
You continue to press through.
You don’t give in when it gets tough,
when your head is bowed, overshadowed,
the crowd shouting, “say you’ve had enough!”
Off the ropes you fly believing in promises of victory.
Though the evidence, with a naked eye, I cannot see.
I’m glad you fought for a baby that would one day break your heart.
Only fit to offer prayers and bitter tears. Groans and weeps because words were ripped apart.
Numerous broken hearts you’ve tasted, the tears they stain never the same.
Yet you choose to continue breathing.
Each comes heavy and shallow drenched in grief, bound with pain.
Your eyes fixed on Heaven, awaiting revival, for there is strength calling on His name.
I admire your pursuit of love, when all turn aside.
Peace has become the gift well sought after, the perfect place to hide.
Holiness, a tapestry well worth its design.
Embroidered with hope, in charity is lined, ever so divine.
Thank you for getting up and getting out of there.
Thank you for standing up for her, ridding your lives of such rage and despair.
The undertaking of miser, Finally choosing to love yourself.
Instead of waiting for guilt and hurt to transform to love and good health.
Finally realizing the definition and understanding you were caught in a loop of insanity.
You learned to love yourself regardless of others. No need to make plans for you and me.
School stayed a priority. I know it was, has, can, and will be a muddle of time and testation.
Tales fail to express the search for someone who’ll lend consolation.
Keep looking to Heaven. God is near, and understands your heart’s meditation.
We’re 35 now, soon to enter 36. 20 years has passed.
You have survived. She is still alive. Both of you have made it.
Many of your fears have subsided. Hopelessness has faded.
You’re a nurse now! And still delight in simplicity.
You’ve done well keeping up with broken parts. Enough remains to still recognize “me.”
Many nights you were afraid, but life hasn’t trampled you under.
Everything is alright, we’ve made it through clouds, rain, and thunder.
Thank you for praying that night, God heard us, and gave what we needed so we wouldn’t fall.
Your heart was softened, and you answered when he called.
For choosing to live everyday, and not loosing your mind when Grandma and Grandpa passed away.
Not drinking this, and smoking that.
For putting the knife down, not swinging that bat.
For not buying a weapon, for putting her first.
Not marrying him, giving him more babies, making matters worse.
Thank you for freeing us from the claustrophobia of that long hall leading to an end dead.
A rotten routine of being alone, with only eggs, bologna, and bread.
She’s 19 now, and has no memory. The hard times had no effect.
One day she’ll appreciate. Then will reveal reasoning for your high level of expect.
You finally learned who is and has always been your best friend.
You’re finally brave enough, stand up for her, love, protect her, and defend.
You taught me memories can be released. It’s okay to forget.
You don’t have to allow it hurt anymore. You can let go of regret.
I can now fight the qualms that wrestle every morning in my head,
They seek my life, desire to drown me leaving my corpse in bed.
I’m so glad you learned how to be a mom, and you finally learned, “NO!”
I’m glad you heard that song, and finally said, ” I have to go!”
And fear became a stepping stone.
I know its not the life you wanted, tattered remnants stitched and re-stitched.
Brava! You finally say what no one else will say to you.
You’ve given me permission to not impress the unimpressible.
I find ways to make myself swoon!
You’ve given me permission to be weak and sorrowful,
because life is disastrously cruel.
You’ve shown loneliness is a strategy to confound inner peace.
Rather, its a golden ticket when your heart is raging and your mind is crumpled and needs release.
Finally we see that it is impossible for a size 12 to fit into a size 8!
That is the most bizarre expectation any man could expect.
Such a requirement, no one should ever create.
Most of all: I thank you for not mistaking this knowledge and understanding was all of your own.
For God held these plans for me. Forever shall I be thankful.
For He remains forevermore answering me from, making a way from His throne.