I have always struggled with expressing my emotions
I would typically just bottle it up and explode on someone eventually
The path of self destruction was a path i knew all to well
As a adolescent the first lesson i was taught was men do not cry
So i would bottle up my feelings inside until the invisible ceiling would shatter the glass of bottled up emotions i kept inside
Perhaps it was my ego and pride that would not step aside
Truly over a decade in and out of therapy and 6 years of going consistently has really gave me a second to see
The perspective i had was all a lie
Men live a life that we are programmed to lie and say we are fine and move on while negative feelings linger inside
Why you think we smoke ,drink and link up with women or men
We need that quick fix of an escape to create distance between the victims and the blame
Guilt and shame while we try to hide the pain
It is anybodies guess well its a guessing game like charades
I began to journal in 2020 , in 2023 i start writing poetry and not only that but performing in public stages
In front of dozen and hundreds of people at a time
Now i’ve performed at dozens of open mics and it changed my life
No longer hiding behind the stone wall i build leaving the old me left behind
Having a open mind ,saying whats on my mind and i have such a great feeling inside
Holding myself accountable ,facing my fears and having the support of friends and family all made a difference
Never know who can you inspire with you your self , you may even inspire yourself