Dear Mom… I’m sorry about my last letter.
Guess that was a big event for you too, huh?

Our last words will be our last.
I can’t tell you all I want to say, I want to, but I can’t.
Least not to your face, like always.

I miss you, I love you. I’m sorry.
A thousand times sorry, I had to go, I had to.

2021 was his 10th anniversary, and for each of those years, I did my best.
I was still a child, Mom. Where did you go…? Why were the walls of your room better than being with me? I wasn’t your natural born, and I sure know that now… She made sure of that.

I’m sorry about my last letter, Mom. It took months to find the courage. To say goodbye to the only person I ever knew. The meaning I gave my life – taking care of you. You wouldn’t know Mom, I cried myself to sleep for months after it. Wondering if I did the right thing, even though I had everyone’s full support, I tried. I tried. I gave my everything. I tried until I couldn’t.

It ended with us. And I’m the only one left out, like always.
I wanted the best for you, but I wanted the best for me too.
Neither of us was that.

I tried until my detriment, I tried. You were my world.
It has been some time, but life is better now,
and like before, it will get better again.

I miss you Mom, I hope you’re doing well.
I think about you almost every day.

I’m sorry I couldn’t stay, I know why…
Every day I wish I could come back, to when it was good.
Somewhere you started hating me…
Maybe I had too much of my biological father in me, I don’t know.
You did often compare us two, while I was growing up.
What did you see in me, that made you hate me…

Maybe I’ll write again, there’s still so much left to say. My letters will be to you like they are to Dad. Addressed to the void and the stars. Words left unsaid.

Even in those unsaid words, I can say things are better, I can say I still love you, I can say I miss you. Goodbye Mom, until we meet in the void again.