I was born three months early to a drug addicted mother. My foster parents, who became my adoptive parents, showed me all the tender love and care I needed to help me get healthy. They kept me from meeting a fate of becoming a vegetable or dying, both of which the doctor said were my only two options in life.

While I appreciate their many sacrifices, I know that what you do for someone does not make up for what you do TO them. I experienced nearly every form of trauma in my life as I got older. I also witnessed a great of trauma.

All of that to say, I became an extremely miserable person. I was constantly depressed, I suffered from an eating disorder, (trigger warning) and even engaged in self-injurious behavior.

I recall praying to God to be someone else, whether it was a schoolmate with whom I was enamored, or a member of my favorite girl group. I was so disappointed to wake up as “just me.” I recall thinking God had let me down, allowing me to be abused in the womb, and “rescued” by a family that would later disappoint and harm me, while on the outside we seemed like a happy family.

One day, God did make me someone else; but, it was not in the way I had hoped. Through allowing positive individuals to speak hope and encouragement into my life, and shifting my perspective, I realized that I could not change the hand that I was dealt; but, it was up to me whether or not I would wallow in self-pity or use my story to inspire others.
I realized I could seek to live a life of success and happiness, as opposed to being a victim of my circumstances.

Therefore, I decided to learn how to become my own friend, rather than own worst enemy. I learned to express gratitude; and, rather than see difficulties as confirmation of my lack of favor with God, they became opportunities to learn, to grow, and to inspire those that cross my path.

Professionally, I became a mental health therapist. Personally, I learned to be more compassionate, as well as someone who can make others laugh, not just someone who always complained and sought sympathy.

Want me to prove it? *Ahem* Why did they make Finding Dory? I’d say it’s because if Nemo kept getting lost, they’d have to call CPS. Actually, Sea PS.

(Admit it, you smiled) Being able to use humor to cope, and mustering up the courage to fight against my insecurities to start my modeling career in 2021, does not mean I do not shed tears and experience physical and emotional pain.

I’ve learned what I wish everyone could learn early in life, which is that you may have your problems; however, your problems don’t have to have nor define you. Whether you experienced bad womb service, abuse, poverty, you name it, tragic beginnings do not mean you cannot choose to create a triumphant trajectory in life. I say create intentionally because I also realized I could wish upon stars and pray all day long, (I swear my guardian angel must be exhausted). However, it is up to me to actively form meaningful connections, pursue the opportunities I desire, and choose to give myself that glimmer of hope through a favorite song, a walk, or whatever my soul craves during the darkest moments.