Hi sweet heart.
How are you doing?
I see you standing there,
Alone in dark, cold rooms,
Trying to brighten them with laughter and smiles.
All while the weight of raising adults at such a young age crushes you beneath its state.

I wish I could tell you it gets better,

Because we always believed everything would be alright,
As I held my pillow to confort me
crying myself to sleep at night,
But we both know we’re bad at lying,

And that would be an egregious one.

The truth is ….

And I hate to say this…

It’s get worse

And worse, and worse,

And I’m so sorry but
Im here to tell you we can’t control any of it.

So don’t try or else you’ll tear us apart.

It’s simply
a very dark start

To our story,

But if anything I want to prepare you

Give you a look into the future of tommorow.

So Brace yourself.

We lose all of our closest family members
mom as you already know ,
But Too young to yet comprehend.
Watching that coffin close again,
And…Mikey
The pain of a loss you thought you’d never understand
As they buried our brother in ashes
We hold our own hand
Ourselves,
our only friend,
No savior on the other end.

The ones that actually seemed to like us and care,
Are no longer there
So we’re left with the ones that hate us
Yet smile in our faces
A toxic fueled mess of toxity and stress you never wanted to ensue
But nevertheless,
They do.

As they maim, mock, and hurt you .

I’m so sorry for how they blame you
Or For the way you blamed yourself as if you could change fate
Saying if you could just change
Your whole life would rearrange?

By rearranging yourself.
Being anything, anyone else,
But ourselves.
Because that is deemed the worst hell.

I’m here to tell you you can’t
make them love you or change them
Especially not by changing or blaming ourselves.

And though we argue that we aren’t,

that’s not true.

Because we branded ourselves with their actions,

And can’t see clearly enough to know how to escape from the reactions.

I’m sorry it hurts so much that in the process of changing ourselves we were only crushed, and rushed to grow up,

But I can tell you from the multiple suicide attempts

Death isn’t the answer for us.

But the truth,

Is in case they haven’t told you
I’m so proud of you,

Because despite our pain
The one dream that always comes true,
Is your strong
And we can make it through.
Even if it’s by ourselves
we face the fires
And walk through.
Always the one lesson to stay with you