Dear Little Logan,
Unfortunately, I don’t always remember being you, but I know how often you thought of me. You were always curious about how you would look when you got older, but all you could imagine was being taller. Well, you were right about that! Aside from that, though, I know you spent a good amount of time wondering who I would be. Well, we should be proud. You should be. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for you. I love you for always looking out for us. You didn’t know it at the time– eight years ago– but you saved our life. Moving away from Mom was your very first step on your way to yourself. You didn’t even know it yet, but at age twelve, you were already taking control of your life and doing whatever you could to make us comfortable. That’s who you are, Logan– strong, wise, and caring. I’m proud of these traits; these are us. We didn’t learn this from Mom, Dad, friends, or anyone else. This is inside you, sewn into your soul– you care. I love this about you, but my favorite thing about you is that you are never too far from laughter. You went through hell, kid. But year after year, you laughed, you loved, you found joy wherever it could have been. You never seem to run out of love, and I adore that about you. I’ve never met anyone with quite so much love to give. That is an amazing thing. But remember Logan: save some for yourself. Love yourself like you love flowers and smiles and all your favorite songs. You and I both know the world needs love, but listen when I say that you do too.
You know what you went through, so be kind to yourself day by day. Credit yourself for your resilience. Never let go of your tenderness. I love you so achingly, Logan. I still carry your pain. I see you. I wish I could hold you now. So I do. I remember that you are at my center, that I have been constructed around you. There would be no me without you. I know how many people are telling you this, but hopefully, you’ll believe it if it comes from me: It will get better. It will get better when you move away from Mom. Then it’ll get better when you move away from Dad. It’ll get better when you move to Oregon. It’ll always get better because you steer us there. We know what is best for us.
Keep pushing through and keep finding love and sharing it. Never apologize for yourself. Remember I’ll always be with you. And remember that love will carry you through.

Hang in there,